It's a relatable problem all of us have had at one time or another - the dry cleaners accidentally gives you a magician's suit instead of your regular clothes. How do you handle this scenario? An entire forum of people has the answers!
thought I was dressed for my cousins wedding but here I find myself buying rabbit food because Lucky keeps popping out of all my hats
I like to walk down the street summoning coins out of thin air and paying people's expired parking meters. Sometimes, i walk into laundromats and pay for people's wash, just for the look on their faces. I can't go into casinos anymore, though
Really inconvenient how my wife asks me to store her phone, wallet, deck of trick cards, flower wand, and live rabbit all inside my totally normal sleeves.
I always thought the magic was contained in the wand but lo and behold cards are flying out of my sleeves whenever I crack my knuckles
"Is this your card? No? Is this your card? No? Is this your card? No?"
"Okay because I was accidentally given this magicians suit at the dry cleaners and I am just trying to return this stuff to whoever it belongs to."
It's impossible to remove the hanky from the pocket, it just keeps coming, so if you actually use it as a hanky beware: you'll have to get the whole suit drycleaned agan to wash out the boogers
Rigged Death Trap
As soon as I wore the magicians suit a lady in a sequined leotard appeared from behind my curtains and started demanding a paycheck
The paternity test came back, i'm not the father. Turns out the suit I wore during that romantic date with my wife nine months ago was actually a magicians suit I was given on accident by a dry cleaners.
I thought I could make this magician suit work but now my job is a UPS driver is in jeopardy. Apparently people don't like it when you stick swords through their Amazon packages.
local Texas hold 'em club now has a dress code where everyone can only wear shorts and a hoodie
Starman Super DX
got pulled over last night. went to show the guy my license but every single time it was a different card. at first it was funny, but then he arrested me for disorderly conduct.
The worst part though is that I kept unintentionally breaking free of the hand cuffs!
so they just had to beat me until I was unconscious...
In these contentious political times it is more important than ever to work together in a bipartisan way with the people who said I should be thrown out of a helicopter for being an Antifa terrorist.
This Halloween, log off and visit your friends at the local Halloween Superstore.
Better than expected, and absolute garbage
The Comedy Goldmine examines the funniest and most creative threads from the Something Awful Forums. Although the Comedy Goldmine has changed authors many times over the years, its focus on the Something Awful Forums is still the same. Includes hilarious Photoshops, amusing work stories, parodies, and other types of oddball humor.