Steve: Are you going to sleep in shifts or keep watch?
Zack: Kurt will try to stay awake watching Headbanger's Ball.
Steve: While Kurt is watching MTV, Left Eye is sleeping quietly. In her dream she sees a man with a body composed of green flame. Everything he touches is incinerated, but it's not terrifying, it's beautiful. Like flowers growing everywhere.
Zack: That sounds about right for a dream she would have.
Steve: She hears a voice calling to her, "Lisa, you are chosen. Lisa, you must kill your friends. Lisa, you must set me free."
Zack: Again, plausible Lisa Lopes dream sequence, is a shirtless Tyrese there?
Steve: Yes, along with hundreds of other people, all writhing in green fire that is swallowing up the world. The nations are united in peace and fire.
Zack: Tolstoy, or whatever his name was, is taking this end of the cold war thing a little bit too far.
Steve: Make a sanity roll for Lisa.
Zack: Oh no! Failed.
Steve: She loses 6 sanity and suffers from pyromania for the next month.
Zack: You mean extra pyromania? Enhanced pyromania?
Steve: She will also be weakened against magic from Tulzcha.
Zack: Fortunately, Kurt is our group's warlock. And he is going to make Timothy Shadow pay for what he is doing.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.