Steve: Did we win?
Zack: Yes, Steve, the leading presidential candidate was just gunned down and his evil plan to launch nukes was thwarted.
Steve: Does Left Eye live?
Zack: Yes. She loses her left eye, but E is able to cast a spell that transplants a donor eye into the socket. All you had was a ghoul's eyeball that got stuck to Station when you were escaping so now Left Eye has one evil, red eye that can see in the dark, but also haunts her with vile appetites.
Steve: Like she gets hungry for Cracker Combos and Wendy's breakfast items?
Zack: Close. Decaying human flesh.
Steve: What about Station?
Zack: He's still with you. E is hiding him in Compton in his own house next door to E's. People mind their own business in Compton.
Zack: Saddam is still alive and un-nuked. Bill Clinton is elected president.
Steve: So can we stop Saddam from destroying the world?
Zack: Funny you should mention...because that's exactly what you will do in the upcoming 1990s Call of Cthulhu late night bikini action module, Hard Ticket to Baghdad.
Zack: Coming soon!
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.