Zack: Morton Downey smiles and raises his gun, aiming it at Left Eye. People in the crowd begin to scream. At that moment, Secret Service bursts onto stage. They look at what is happening and at least one of them is paralyzed with fear at the sight of Station.
Steve: Left Eye screams, "Please, don't shoot me!"
Zack: Bang! Left Eye gets blasted. The bullet hits her in the head and she is immediately knocked unconscious.
Steve: Nooooooo! Kurt is running to her side.
Zack: As he does, the Secret Service open fire on Morton Downey. They're all white, so as far as they can tell Morton Downey just shot Janet Jackson in the head.
Steve: Aren't they supposed to protect him?
Zack: They just know he shot an unarmed woman in the head. Bullets tear into Morton Downey and he drops to the floor dead. The Secret Service surround him.
Steve: Going to try to make our escape.
Zack: There's so much chaos that you are actually able to get away by going backstage in the other direction. Left Eye is pretty badly injured. You don't know if she is going to survive.
Steve: Come on, Station. We have to get back to the van.
Zack: As secret service swarm onto stage behind you, the halls are virtually emptied and you manage to just barrel past any stage hands who get in your way. You reach the catering truck and Station climbs into the back.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.