Zack: Robert Carstairs, restoring dignity to your elderly pets.
Steve: What he lacks in engineering he more than makes up for by throwing and punching things.
Zack: I have 5 points in trimsman, 3 points in cocksman, and 1 point in machine gun.
Steve: My mom went on TrimSpa. I don't know how many points she had.
Zack: The cogs have come off! Carstairs, old kettle, get to the steam dial and set it forward three degrees. Quickly now!Steve: Oh no, which one!? I can't read Martian.
Zack: Quickly, lean forward and thrust your head repeatedly into this Y-shaped indentation. Perhaps it will activate something more than these Martian gimracks!
Steve: Does that count as throwing?
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
Previous Articles
- Rifts Worldbook 20: Canada (1999)
- The Art of Werewolf: The Apocalypse (1990s)
- Dungeons & Dragons Christmas Elf Retrospective
- More Art of Vampire: The Maquerade (1990s)
- Steve's RPG Thankfulness
Suggested Articles
- Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeon Module S3 "Expedition to the Barrier Peaks"
- Star Wars D20 Original Adventure: The Empire's Bogus Merch (Part 2 of 2)
- The Intense and Strange Cover Art of TORG
- The Most Badass Rifts Cover Art According to Steve
- [Mature] Exalted's Most Mature Content (A Mature Article) for Matures Only
