Battlefield: Bad Company 2 Patch 1.1 Released!!!

2. NEW FEATURES

• New class: Negotiator! Class will specialize in treaties and diplomatic solutions to the current battle. Player levels up by successfully negotiating with members of each side. Kit items include a pen and a box of legal documents. Once a negotiation is complete, the game immediately ends and players are treated to a full motion video depicting a Russian and American swinging together in a hammock.
  
• New weapon for Medics: the Metal Storm Portable Modified! This weapon unloads 5,000 rounds of 40mm projectiles each second, offering maximum damage and accuracy. Additionally, any Medic equipping this weapon creates a field around them, instantly healing all teammates and killing all enemies. To fairly balance gameplay, any Medic equipping this weapon will NOT be allowed to carry a grenade.
• New maps! Continuing our fine tradition of fresh and original VIP map packs, we are proud to announce the Super VIP Map Pack! The new maps are identical to all existing maps... except the bases have been switched! This adds an amazing new element of gameplay. Players will be thrilled to see themselves as US soldiers spawning in what was previously Russia's starting base! It's like a whole new game!
  

3. IMPROVEMENTS

• (MAP) Panama Canal. Added a sign near entrance of map reading "PORT CLOSED DUE TO BIG WAR."
• (MAP) Atacama Desert. Made map much larger. Traveling on foot between points now takes over seven minutes.
• (MAP) Nelson Bay. Added significantly more trees throughout the map. Replaced MCOM station with a metal tree that flashes red. Further darkened the map, to simulate the realistic wartime experience of going into combat with a trash can on your head.
  
• (MAP) Valparaiso. To address user complaints, we have made it more "Recon-friendly." Snipers may now hide and shoot from overhead clouds.
• (VEHICLE) Patrol Boat. Some players apparently felt the Patrol Boat was slightly useless. We resolved this by giving the fourth passenger the ability to activate the boat's AM radio.
• (VEHICLE) UH-60 Blackhawk. Added more armor, two additional miniguns, and an atomic bomb. Oh and it can turn invisible too.
  
• (WEAPON) M-93R. Switched the ammunition from 9mm to .22 caliber. Weapon now has a 50% chance of fatally backfiring each shot. If a player chooses this sidearm for their loadout, they immediately die after spawning.
  
• (WEAPON) Tracer Dart Gun. To compensate for this popular tool's incredible power, the dart speed has been reduced. Players can now outrun Tracer Dart Gun shots.
• Improved team balancing. When a server detects an imbalance in teams (too many players on one side, too many skilled players on another side), it will compensate and attempt to level the playing field by kicking everybody off and shutting down.
• Quitting during map loads. Players may now choose to quit at the end of a round, while the next map loads. They can do this by unplugging the power cable to their console.
• New algorithm for determining skill level. Based on your kill / death ratio, the amount of time you've spent playing, and the skill levels of players you've killed, the game server will determine your skill level by choosing a random number.
• New "team speak" option. One player from each side will be given the title of "Commander" each map, letting them use their microphone to issue commands and speak to the entire team. This player will be the individual who coughs the most, has the highest-pitched voice, talks to mysterious invisible phantoms in their room, and offers the most poignant negative observations of certain minority groups.
• Improved "do you want to join a squad?" option during map loading. If user fails to choose "yes, put me in a squad," they will spawn with 50 tracer darts permanently attached to their head.
• Game servers (both of them) have been upgraded with an additional 512k of RAM.
• Server bandwidth increased to "7."
  
• Improved squad functions. Players may now "kick" out a member of their squad by simply pushing the pause button, purchasing a plane ticket, traveling to that person's house, and stabbing them to death.
• Parachutes no longer deploy during small jumps. They deploy when you spawn.
• Enemies are no longer able to camp your base's spawn points. To counteract this annoying trend, the game will now randomly spawn players anywhere within a 300 foot radius of their base, usually inside world geometry or halfway beneath the ground.

Well, that's everything guys! I can't wait to not read what the BC2 community thinks about this!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)