The weapons made for the mod should all be composed of:

  • One-hit kill Sniper Rifles
  • 200 similar machine guns of slightly different brand / model.
  • Wall penetrating, one-hit kill Sniper Rifles
  • 50 Heavy machine guns with never-ending clips.
  • Rapid fire, wall penetrating, one-hit kill Sniper Rifles
  • Two shotguns... always two: one of the shotguns has to suck, and the other has to be too powerful.
  • Auto aiming, rapid fire, wall penetrating, one-hit kill Sniper Rifles
  • Either:
    • Hideously underpowered grenades that leave a black mark on the floor which you can make funny fart jokes about.
    • Hideously overpowered grenades that kills everything in your sight and your teammates' sights, regardless of their position on the map.
The sniper rifle should be able to zoom in to a microscopic caliber of resolution.

You may say that some of the weapons are redundant, but you couldn't be further from the truth! All the weapons have slightly different names, firing rates and clip sizes. And it's GOOD to have lots of sniper rifles, because there hasn't been a good point-and-click adventure out since Monkey Island 3!

Make sure to never include a rocket launcher of ANY TYPE! I mean, it's over powered! Everyone would die in one shot! And since when did you see a S.W.A.T team running around with Rocket Launchers? IT'S NOT REALISTIC! So what if we only have hitscan weapons, they're the only good ones!

Don't put in a knife... knives are useless weapons against guns - if you run out of ammo, you may as well be dead anyway. And no punching either, it's unrealistic to think that someone would attack an armed man just with merely his fists! It wouldn't happen in real life so we shouldn't let it happen here either!

It's all very well having the perfect game design all figured out, but that's totally unimportant when making this kind of mod. People don't want to play a game. They want to see cool models and cool maps. You may have to refine you search for moddellers more than you would have with a weapons mod, because the models are the single most important aspect of a realistic mod. If the models aren't exact to the nearest nanometre, you may as well pack up your mod and spend money on crack pipes.

Next you need to find mappers. Talk to anyone who's done at least one map before, and include at least one "My House" map in your map pack. As soon as anyone mentions "map flow" kick them from your team! They're obviously up their own arses and think they know everything about mapping. You do NOT want someone like that usurping your glory!

It's good to make objectives on maps. You could have one team defending the cockpit of a passenger plane, and the other team trying to hijack the controls. If you shoot the controls, everyone in the game dies, and all the players' monitors explode into their faces, hopefully slicing a major artery or at least blinding them! IT'S SO GOOD IT'S REALISTIC!!!


With so many mods being thrown around these days, it's often hard to come up with a new, original idea. This is a good thing, because nobody wants to play your stupid original mod - gamers want to stick to the same thing they've been playing for the past seven years! Hopefully this guide has given you an in-depth look at some of the possibilities you could explore, and if it hasn't, oh well, we're not particularly bothered.

– Bezzy (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

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