Trillaphon: Heigh ho, heigh HOLY SHI-
Hydrogen: I thought this was supposed to be a cut-rate evil corporation kind of deal, but hiring actual dwarves to work in your chemical mine can't be cheap.
Trillaphon: It is if you're willing to stoop to hiring Gimli's smelly mouth-breathing cousin Randall and his not-all-there posse of good ol' dwarves from the Moria backwoods, who may or may not have the mental capacity to stop drilling after hitting a rich, fiery vein of pure Balrog.
Hydrogen: "Hey guys, this rock is glowing and also on fire, should I keep jackhammering it, or...? Guys? It kind of looks like it might explode and kill us all? Okay, I'm going to keep going."
Trillaphon: Speaking of workplace safety, I like how their office has a side door that just opens right into the massive cave system full of volatile chemicals and heavy industrial equipment.
Hydrogen: They lost 4 interns to that door before they finally put a sign on the door that said "Bathrooms down other hallway."
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Something Awful reviews the absolute worst movies out there. We focus mostly on horror and science fiction, because all writers here on Something Awful are huge nerds.
