Last Lives

Trillaphon: You know, he really could have saved himself a bracelet by just tying a honey-baked ham to that electrified fence.

Hydrogen: Not holding a Wile E Coyote-size bundle of dynamite in his hand might've also been a smart move. I mean who the hell would reasonably expect that a bracelet that heals burns and kickstarts your organs would actually be able to fix "being blown to fucking smithereens", but here we are.

Trillaphon: Man is he going to hate himself when he gets old and finds out he's going to die for real just years before the rise of Ultra Porn because he wasted a bunch of bracelets on this Iron Giant bullshit.

Trillaphon: I just hope that the bracelets permanently tattoo the reasons they have to bring him back to life somewhere on his body to commemorate them, so he has to live with the shame of all of these dumbass deaths.

Hydrogen: "Death record #528/C - Brought knife to fist fight, still punked out like a little bitch with a 2x4 to death, smh."

Trillaphon: "Death record #172/F - Stood up directly into a hail of machine-gun fire, I mean, Jesus Christ."

Hydrogen: "Death record #998/A - Fell off a balcony to death. Maybe he could have, like, tied a bungie cord around himself instead of just using the priceless life-saving device? Just a thought."