SkyMall Product Reviews: ZenHaus Dog Crates

This article is part of the SkyMall Product Reviews series.

Customer Review:
By FantasticThighs from Aspen, CO

I purchased two ZenHaus Dog Crates for my two dogs. After getting both of them in their respective crates, I headed off to work. The problem is--and this was not advertised at all--both dogs appeared to have somehow ended up in one crate, fused together. What's worse, my new doubledog seemed to be undergoing a terrifying metamorphosis that, as of this writing, has not yet reached its gruesome climax.

The vet says he knows of no way to reverse the process. Because of this, I cannot in good conscience recommend these dog crates to others.

Age: 31-35

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Customer Review:
By StarGrandpa from Jorge's Gulch, NM

I put my beloved dog in this crate, and then when I came home an hour later he was gone. The crate was still sealed. Where is my dog, SkyMall? WHERE IS MY DOG??????

Age: 71-75

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Customer Review:
By ChristainMom from Lee's Summit, MO

WARNING! This does not include the dog pictured, just some weird piece of dumb furniture and a cushion. Was not comfortable or useful at all. Is the dog in a second package still in route? I'm very confused, Skymall. If the dog wasn't what you were selling, why is it in the picture?

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By chowderman from Dayton, OH

Works so well I forgot my dog was even in there until it was too late. Major flaw is those air vents, because they let foul odors out. Would prefer if it was a solid, seamless airtight container.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By prouduncle from Nashville, TN

Came home to find a terrifying cylinder of mangled fur and dog meat compressed inside the crate, with all sorts of blood and viscera extruding out of the vents on the side. I'd be lying if I said I saw this coming, because I did not see this coming at all. I am not even sure where all the dog gore came from, because my dog was chained up outside at the time. Hell of a thing to clean up. Hell of a thing.

Pros: looks really nice

Cons: seems to serve as a meat grinder for dogs

Age: 51-55

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Customer Review:
Dogfan from Pigeon Forge, TN

I'm worried sick because the dog I put inside this crate is not the same one that came out when I opened the crate back up. What is going on? I thought maybe somebody was playing a joke on me. I tried calling the customer support line but it was just a recording of somebody reading numbers.

This new dog is nice but it is not my dog and I do not trust him with my children. I just want my dog back.

Age: 41-45

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Customer Review:
By SkyMallCop

Disregard all the negative reviews from foolish people. The ZenHaus Dog Crate comes with a 1000+ page operator's manual that explains how to prevent most common quantum household mishaps like the ones described. There is no justifiable excuse for not having read it. Seriously people, RTFM.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Review:
By Bruce from Broth Springs, MN

Attn: StarGrandpa

Is your dog's name Jingles? A strange dog I have never seen appeared in my crate today, and its tags said "Jingles." Not sure how it got there. If anybody ends up with a large French Mastiff named Blaster Master please let me know ASAP. Bruce34892 at hotmail dot com.

Age: 26-30

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Customer Review:
By TightLeash from New York, NY

The vague product description doesn't explain much. Is this large enough to fit an adult woman? How wide are those little side vents? Could I Get a 16" meat lovers pizza through them? Disturbed such common questions are not addressed in product details. Please be more thorough, SkyMall.

Age: 36-40

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Customer Review:

By k9recue from Hope, AR

how easily do they stack? i am an avid animal hoarder and i am sick of everyone always thinking we're disgusting, cruel and old fashioned. these crates look comfortable and modern, so having fifty of these stacked and lined up in a basement would go a long way towards erasing some of the negative views a jealous society hoists upon those of us who are blessed with dozens upon dozens of loving dogs.

Age: 46-50

– Josh "Livestock" Boruff (@Livestock)