Have I Got A Deal For You

Many new users who sign up for prize sites will find that after filling out surveys, signing up for incredible offers, and you know, wasting the time they could have spent doing things like going to college or trying to get a real career going, they aren't earning any points. Luckily there are a few tips they'll tell you to try to make sure those completed offers get approved, basically all the shit they failed to tell you up front.

Disable Your Firewall. All the stories you've heard about computers being hijacked and how a firewall is supposed to protect your system were lies. It turns out that the real reason firewalls exist is so those fatcats in Washington can deny you the great deals and incredible savings you can get from survey sites. We were such fools...

Disable Any Anti-Virus or Anti-Spyware Software. You know those programs you installed to keep your computer from becoming infested with pop-ups, spyware, and trojans? Yeah... we're gonna need you to shut that shit off for a second while you take this survey.

Only Sign Up for Offers You Are Genuinely Interested In. Yeah, because nobody ever signs up for the free trial and cancels it once their account is credited with "points", i.e. the money the prize site was so generous to share with you. I doubt this really increases your chances of an offer going through. They just say this to keep their sponsors happy. Don't worry, the prize site knows you're full of shit and that you just want the free money. So are they.

Use 100% Genuine Information. Because we can't make any money unless the survey sites can sell your address to foreigners. You'll find that many people who just recently started doing surveys for prizes will often ask, "Hey, is anyone else getting calls from this weird number trying to sell you timeshares???" like it's some kind of fucking surprise.

I am a man who believes in stereotypes. People enticed by FREE IPOD HOLY JESUS offers aren't exactly the George Clooneys of the world. You can make some pretty reasonable generalizations about people who patronize these prize survey web sites.

I am ALL IN.They have no hope for a future. People who are crazy about taking surveys for worthless crap are happy with a payoff that, when all is said and done, comes to less than the hourly minimum wage, do it because they lack the necessary skills to actually make it in the real world. What's an hour of mind-numbing work for what basically amounts to three points towards a video game when your time is basically worth nothing? It's not like these people are employable anyway.

They are social rejects. People who work at home do so because they have trouble interacting with people in a typical office setting. Sure, sitting on your ass at home in your underwear while you work sounds attractive to everybody, but who the hell really wants to do that for the rest of their life? Only social retards do. I needed some extra money so I took a part time job and ended up meeting a lot of cool people and experiencing a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise experienced. That's a part of working that is often overlooked.

Is this worthless existence somehow fulfilling to these people? What the hell does taking surveys consist of? You sit there and mindlessly click boxes while contributing to the bottom line of spammers. How can anyone be proud of that?

To see how these sites worked I decided to try out one of them out for myself using an email address specifically set up for spam and a phone line of mine I rarely use because it's already bombarded by telemarketers and creditors looking for the last guy who had the number.

Of the 5 or so offers I completed all were disapproved, leaving me without any points to claim those sweet, sweet prizes. It must have been those nefarious firewalls and anti-spyware programs mucking up my chance of a lifetime of never having to pay for World of WarCraft again.

Fortunately the woman who called from Internet University asking me if I was interested in earning a diploma online was very sweet. If you decide to sign up for these survey sites in the hopes of making it big, tell her I said hi.

– Hassan "Acetone" Mikal