What do we do with the Knight (if anything)?


i wonder what would happen if we saved his life?


Let's try to help him, and see if we can become allies.

Epic High Five

I'd like to Toss pixie dust on him, and while it takes effect I shall regale him in excruciating detail of my amorous affair with the bat creature to ensure his hallucinations are entirely of my plowing a giant wombat


One of these options leads to the very first endings that you can get to in this game, so let's check that out first:

It's not the worst ending possible but it would have been good to find Dad and maybe get a real Sword of the Bastard Elf instead of a figurative one. At least Jeff got what was coming. Now let's try finishing him off with the pixie dust.

With the Knight finally out of the picture, we can select one piece of loot from the corpse before moving on... what do we take?


If we eat its testicles do we gain its virility?


take the 'eye' from his steed, it's small and not technically part of the knight's armor so it should be free right?


It seems to me that the only thing that won't be grossly too heavy to use would be the helmet.


Helmet's not a bad choice even though it fits over the Elf's entire upper torso.


Although the last page said to take one item it's pretty easy to take the wrong thing here and get locked out of some possible endings. There's no time limit here so let's just assume the Elf scoops up everything he can carry and/or cut off:

We've stumbled across a royal picnic or something along the road to Bilgeton. We saw them before they saw us, which is good because it looks like they've got guards. What's the plan? We could just ignore them and keep hiking, but we've got a long way to go and they've got transport, food and other stuff we could use, if they could be convinced to help us out.

Mojo Threepwood

Walk into their camp and ask if you can share their stewpot. Add pixie bits, and when it is time to eat excuse yourself to pee behind a tree. Wait ten minutes for the pixie bits to take effect, then emerge wearing only the helmet and pixie cloak.


You wander into the camp and say hello.

Since we're walking right up to these guys, the book is checking on how horrible we look. We scored 15/10 by my count, which is unbearably horrible.

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