Apparently we've summoned something. Turning to the relevant table...
It's been torn out. Great.
If any of you have a working memory of this book or, better still, are reading along with your own copy, could you please roll on the table and let me know what abomination we've let loose on the world with our horrible, horrible choices?
Demon-summoning table was, if I recall correctly, 3d6 for stats with an additional 1d10 for a type.
1: Minor Imp
3: Animated Skeleton
4: Sex Demon
5: Sexy Demon
7: Creepy Uncle
8: Hell Knight
Looks like it's a "Shade" with:
6x2: 12 Effort
4x1: 4 Toughness
2x1: 2 fists
Then again, I don't have the book or cards and we always just house ruled the game.
I don't have this book, but the Two-Fisted Fantasy Forums have a whole thread dedicated to hating on The Prince of Shards. Apparently he's "really creepy" and has a "weird face." Gave a lot of kids nightmares back in the day. He might be the monster summoned here.
I called my cousin and had him roll one for us on his copy of the book: Large PhalloKnight (pg 98)
But he was giggling a lot, so I think he may have just chosen the one with the grossest picture.
Whatever it is, play a game of chess with it for ridiculously high stakes
Bestiary entry on those three, might help give you some idea of what we're dealing with:
My brain says prince of shards and my penis says phalloknight. I don't know which one to listen to
Warning: This update involves a huge pile of cocks. If you are reading Sword of the Bastard Elf at work then make sure your boss isn't hanging around.
You asked for Phalloknight, you cannot un-ask for it.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
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