Flames From Review of the Insane Clown Posse

Maybe there's something I don't understand here - okay, there definitely is something I don't understand here - but I can't even begin to imagine why these raving young psychotics get so angry and defensive regarding the Insane Clown Posse, two guys who wouldn't even bother stopping for them at a crosswalk. Let's all chip in and buy the following people egos so they won't have to attach theirs to such trivial things like rap groups. Or better yet, let's ship them off to concentration camps. Camps which explode.

NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: Like always, I have decided to include photos of what I imagine the people writing the flames look like. I feel this lends some gravity and meaning to their messages. Also whenever I try to sleep, I hallucinate and see images of Estelle Getty's head floating around on a giant stalk of corn, demanding I "kill for your Dark God." Anybody want to come over and hang out tonight?

From: DarklotusRydaklw@aol.com
Subject: i got a ?

Who The Fuck Do u Think U r. Icp aka Insane Clown Posse sence 92 put out Carnival Of Carnage it Sold 17 Copys Next Year Beverly Kills 50187 with the dope song 17 Dead next comes RingMaster u dumb fuck Sold 60,000 mutha fackoin copys. Next Comes Terror Wheel got the fuckin bomb ass song called Dead Body Man Next comes Riddle Box That sold 60 ,000 again cuzz dick head jive said we just goin to keep them in detroit. icp Said fuck that they take the money they got picked up some vans painted them up with the riddlebox over the country that sold 40,000 in dallas so hollywood records comes up askes them to make a cd for them so they did the wicked shit style great milenko disney finds out after they payed them $1,000,000 for it and pulls it. icp dont care cuzz they got paid so island records pick them up they drop great milenko and the amazing jackel bros on the way pickin up some homies including underground legend Esham The Homies of Mined who eminem stole a gimmick from what u might see is the batman and robbin gig eminem did or the feminem show who he stole from shaggy 2 dope aka joe utsler now commin out with the wraith whitch feminem will proibile steal something from so u kno what bitch i how u burn in hell and frie from then pits where ur goin to be cuz bitch u done fucked with the wrong people u dont kno shit they been around sence 1989 so u kno what eat a bowl of dicks cuzz u dont see its raining dimonds u wont see it cuzz u just to blind ur lils a lil mainstream bandwangon dick lickin racist bitchs who all burn in the pits of hells pit while im chillin drinkin faygo hittin nedens fuckin dead bitches up in shangri-la baths filled with faygo so fuck off eat a dick and u kno what if i ever meet u justt i hope ur ready to die cuzz bitch u done fucked with the wicked klowns and the juggalo family now done be surprised when when u see a clown when u die and it pops up bad then u kno what ur death will lead u will u die on the terror wheel or out on the killing fields on the tilt a whirl or the hall of illiuions house of merrors the murder go round or how about beat down by a clown cuzz when the pendulum stops for u where will u be when it stops and what will u see when u die i hope u go threw the amazing maze and them songs u say talkin about mainstream its maken fun of it u dont see that bitch i want to take my hatchet and slice ur neck so next time u say shit kno whats real cuzz bitch u about to get killed and im out peace bitch boy

Did you guys pick up on the subtle homosexual references? I sure hope so, because 98% of the 348 flame emails we got from retarded ICP fans included such key words as "faggot," "dicks" (in reference to the question "what should I suck?"), and being raped. 85% of the emails additionally included death threats and how we were going to be really sorry we wrote this horribly inaccurate article because some ICP fan will one day convince mom to let him borrow her car and then he'll drive over to our apartment and probably stab us to death or at least say something unflattering about my hair. It's all so very scary and horrendous that I doubt I can accurately explain the raw terror I feel at this very moment. Instead, I'll just move on to the next letter... IF I'M STILL ALIVE!

From: Aaly
Subject: TruthMedia Review: "The Insane Clown Posse

for being an editor of this site you really should do some research prior to posting things. Honestly. Let me just take a second to pick this little article apart, shall i?

1. I suppose they meant Psychopathic Records

2.& 3. First off, they're not brothers, its joseph bruce and joseph utsler. Secondly, they didnt graduate, nor did they grow up in "well-to-do" detroit. Lets see, where did Emimem reside as a child? Warren? that is hardly a ghetto.

4. Actually they emulated Esham, the originator of horrorcore and acid rap. They copied his idea of face painting from one of the covers of his albums. and imagine that, esham is even ON psychopathic records now..

5. On one of their first CD's, they were collaborating with Kid Rock, they were friends, working together 5. "Broke and brokenhearted, the heart and soul of the Inner City Players, Bruce Utsler, attempted suicide and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital in 1997" ACTUALLY violent J (joseph bruce) had a panic attack on stage, and was put on medication, during a tour..

6. White rap is no new concept. Esham started it in detroit, and lets face it, vanilla ice made it popular in the early 1990s

7. ICP was always a mix of rap and rock. Until The Great Milenko's release in 1997, they didn't include much rock at all, it was straight rap. Not the other way around.

8. Riddle Box was released in 1995. And unless 1995 comes two months after 1997, um, well, yea you get the point. Furthermore, the cd's before The Great Milenko, had absolutely no advertisement, the message of their release was spread purely by word of mouth, and you can look up the stats on your own to see how well they did..

9. "You've had your big time of lust and sin and filth. What is the end going to be when you realize that time is up? You've crossed the finish line going in the wrong direction. What shall it be? What about it, ya man? When you spent your life in a few years time? You're burned out shell at 25 years of age. What shall it be? What about it? You could go to hell (what shall it be?) Come, come on down, down (you're going to the killing fields)" -- the killingfields, RiddleBox, ICP its actually, detroit vs. Hell.. but maybe thats just me

10. The Great Milenko, yes, it stirred up some commotion due to Hollywood Records pulling it from the shelves 6 hours after its release, due to the Southern Baptists threat to boycot Disney. But, The Jeckel Brothers, didnt create a stir, and it was NOT about their bond as brothers. And if you keep in mind that Violent J and Shaggy 2 dope arent brothers to begin with.. ah, never mind i wont even go there again. The Amazing Jeckel Brothers is their 5th jokers card and going along with their idea of the Dark Carnival (a relegion that mirrors Christianity) the Amazing Jeckel Brothers are a pair that juggle your sins in the form of flaming balls. The more sins you have, the more balls they juggle, and if they happen to drop any, you go to hell.

11. First, ICP has NEVER opened for Eminem. Sad but true. They had been touring on their own, as well as with House of Krazees, Myzery, Twiztid, and later they also did tours with Biohazard, Coal Chamber, Blaze, Anybody Killa, etc. They also appeared at Woodstock '99. But they have always headlined their shows, with the exception of woodstock for obvious reasons.

12. ICP a local Detroit act? ok, ill use, www.RIAA.com as my source for this one. In case you arent familiar with that, they would be the Recording Industry Association of America. The Riddlebox, Forgotten Freshness, The Amazing Jeckel Brothers, are all cds that went gold. The Great Milenko, one of their cds that went platinum. they have two movies out, the Shockumentary went platinum, and Big Money Hustlas went Gold. Does that sound like local detroit to you?

13. First, Juggalos. Second, Handfuls? ICP holds two yearly events, the first of which being the "Gathering of the Juggalos". Held in different cities each year, it brings together anywhere from 7000 to 9000 people for an entire weekend, not just one short evening show. The second event which is called Hallowicked is held somewhere in the Detroit area, at various venues, is held on Halloween night, and often times they have to book a show for Devil's Night since the first sells out so quickly. This year, they are on their THIRD anual Gathering, and NINTH anual hallowicked. Third, Faygo. Fourth, a disinterested audience? You want to know about icp's audience? Take a look at one of the 20,000 juggalo websites out there. Just a miniscule few examples, www.thesixth.com, www.faygoluvers.net, www.realjuggalos.com, www.realjuggalettes.com, www.pittsburghjuggalos.net, www.ohiojuggalos.com, www.juggalos4life.com, www.indianajuggalos.com, www.wedontdie.net, need i go on?

14. The song our local genius is talking about, is from the cd Bizzar, and amazingly enough he did get the name of the song correct, it is titled "radio stars". But it is a parody of everything everyone else is producing, rather than their own ACTUAL attempt at getting songs on the radio. These are not clips from ACTUAL songs. seriously, it makes you wonder how long it takes people to make these things up, and if they ACTUALLY believe it themselves.

15. Until their most recent album, and 6th Jokers Card, the Wraith, Mike E. Clark produced all of their music. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to read the inside of a cd case.

16. Not only do icp have well over 20 Cds, (ep's, lp's, singles, etc. etc. etc) but saying that they have only 200 fans, is quite laughable. For reasons that i have explained earlier in this email message. As for being as ignorant as to think that Eminem inspired ANYTHING that ICP has done (outside of the songs Slim Anus and Eminem aint nuthing but a Bitch) is highly amusing. Considering, Eminem is about what, 23, maybe 24 years of age. Which would have made him between the ages of 10 and 12 when ICP was first starting out?

How you as an editor would ever let such dribble hit your site, i do not understand. I would hope that you would have people to do some research on the things that you have posted on your site. I understand it is a lot of work for you yourself to do, but come now. Not one ounce of this post is true, outside of this person's obvious dislike for ICP.

what

Next up we have another astonishing literary gem from alert reader "LoneWolf," who undoubtedly got his name from the fact that he spends all his free time alone with, uh, wolves. Or something. Fuck I don't know, I should probably just post these emails without my commentary, as it just makes me look stupid as well, and Lord knows I need no bonus help with that.