Welcome to my new sex advice feature on Something Awful! If you have a sex question send it in!
Dear Spokker,

There is this girl at work who I really like. The problem is that I like to poop in women's mouths and I'm not sure if she is into that. How should I approach her and get her into shit play???

- Shitfaced in Sacramento

I quit.

Susan's Sex Support

I don't understand the need for sex advice sites. What is so hard about sex? For males, you rub your dick on something or someone else and repeat until you ejaculate. For woman, you wait until you have recieved the proper compensation in the form of dinner, drinks, or money, then you open your legs and pretend you're enjoying it. Why someone would have such a hard time with sex that they have to ask Susan for advice is beyond me.

As a special treat this week I will spare you from my dumb comments. I felt that small blue squares would be funnier.

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