The Alcoholic Dad's Day After Christmas Shopping Guide
All the best steals and deals for drunk dads who forgot about Christmas.
10 Epic Responses to Being Wished "Happy Holidays"
Some helpful tips about forcing God's Love on total strangers this Christmas season.
Save Big With These Black Friday Emergency Room Deals
Something Awful's official guide to the best deals the hopelessly corrupt American healthcare system has to offer.
We All Live in a Yellow Submarine, and It's Absolute Hell
The terrifying reality of being trapped underwater with three other British people.
Dear John/Al
What happens when you want to tell your husband you're leaving him and write Weird Al a fan letter, but you only have one envelope left?
No Bones About It: Obamacare's Pro-Skeleton Agenda
Guest Columnist Dylan Grobler examines the truth behind President Obama's secret skeletal ties.
A Look Inside the 1997 Family Matters Writers Retreat
In a Something Awful exclusive, get an insider's look at the creative forces behind this beloved sitcom about family, togetherness, and potions.
Hill Valley's Skitching Problem is Out of Control
A common citizen of Hill Valley gives an unapologetic account of the area's biggest nuisance.
Blasting the Bottle Generation
Why the children of Millenials are even more lazy and entitled than their parents -- and why it's all their fault.
Let's Do A War
Your Secretary of State gives an honest and thorough assessment of the ongoing conflict in Syria.
The NSA Investigates David Miranda's 3DS
Discover the world-disrupting terror hidden within this simple handheld.
You Kids Have Gotta Stop Googling Terrorist Stuff
One man's struggle to bring the lazy cop stereotype back for the 21st century.
The MC Skat Kat Franchisee Newsletter
Make the most of your cartoon cat likeness rights with these handy tips.
Ground Rules for Our Rugrats LARP
Bone up on the latest information regarding this sport of kings.
Wall Garbage Warehouse
The perfect accessories to give your restaurant the corporate warmth it needs to succeed.
An Update from Your Fictional Crimelord
Learn the ins and out of the fictional crime world through the wit and wisdom of an equally fictional thug.
20 Alternate Titles for I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream
Harlan Ellison's compelling short story didn't always have its evocative and iconic title. Read on, and discover the alternate names for this pioneering entry in the world of evil computer fiction.
Hey Sports Illustrated: Where's My Cover Story?
In our search for heroes, your average man often goes overlooked.
Slime Victims: You May Be Entitled to a Huge Cash Settlement
Finally, the slimed have a voice.
Corporate Speak for Everyday Life
Learn how to make your personal brand of evil palatable with the wonders of Corporate Speak.
The Miss Beauty USA Semifinalists Talk Science
"Do you think schoolchildren should be taught that matter exists?" The Miss Beauty USA semifinalists respond to one tough question.
So You've Been Bigged
The manufacturer of Zoltar Speaks presents everything you need to know about coping with your new adult body and lifestyle.
I am Terrible and Deserve a TV Show
Podcasting maven and basic cable also-ran Adam Carolla is looking to bring his brand of conservative comedy to a larger, dumber audience.
The SimCity Board of Advisors Offers Its Support
Turn to the masters of urban planning wisdom for all of your city ruining needs.
This "Harlem Shake" Could Save Wholesaleenemabags.com
No business is safe from the mandatory whimsy that's sweeping the nation.
J.J. Abrams News of the Past Fifteen Minutes
Turn to your friends at Something Awful for the latest updates about J.J. Abrams and Star Wars: Episode VII. We promise that each one will be excruciatingly insubstantial by increasing magnitudes.
Rules and Regulations for Sylvester Stallone Movie Extras
Find out what it's like to work next to the famed Italian Horse-man with this document pulled straight from the set of his upcoming Summer 2014 blockbuster!
Gun Safety Tips
Retain the good reputation of your instrument of death with these helpful hints.
