Keith's Tie Emporium (Part 1)
Your one stop destination for neckties has found a new home on the internet. Come check out the website for Keith’s Tie Emporium! Special one(1) time sales!!!
Professor Evaluation
It’s that time of year. You’ve finished all the tedious assignments and passed a handful of tests, now’s your chance to turn the tables. Speak your mind, don’t worry, everything is completely anonymous.
Winter Warmth Strategy
Keeping warm can be expensive. These simple tips can keep you in your favorite polo shirt all winter without raising your gas bill. So follow them or pay the price, you little wuss.
Create Your Own Path To An Obama Rally
The Obama rally doesn't start for a few hours, but the jerk who lives a floor below already woke you up. How are you going to fill the next few hours?
Thesis Help
I know you’re stressed out, but I’m here to help you achieve the biggest accomplishment of your life. Well, I was talking about your thesis, but yeah, now that you mention it, Clair is pretty hot.
Are You Ready for Some Football (Mascot Endorsements)?
Recently, Cleatus, the mascot for Sunday football on Fox, and Monday Night Football legend Hank Williams Jr. sat down with me for a nice conversation. I wanted to have a discussion with national public figures on the upcoming election. This is as good as it got.
Surviving a Hurricane (in Ohio)
All the hurricane relief workers in Ohio have been sent to Texas, leaving the state helpless. Despite the delicious irony, the majority of residents have been going insane.
The Diary of Andy Frankle
Andy Frankle was treated like an outcast. He had to hide within the bowels of his home to be open about his love of the game Spore. While alone, Andy faces numerous obstacles that no person should be forced to endure. And yet, he continued on. Now, his diaries provide an inside look at the boy-man’s emotional journey.
Olympic Closing Ceremony Diagram
Thank you for coming to the Beijing Olympic Games. To help you fully enjoy the closing ceremony, we have provided a basic diagram to help guide your eye around the complex display of Chinese power.
Create Your Own Adventure: Olympic Gold
Mom always wanted you to do something with your worthless life. Why not try and become an Olympian? It’s a rough path, but fame and glory await you if you accomplish your journey.
The Wolf Returns to Assault Your Questions
Wolf here. And I got more questions that I’ve stripped down, tied up, and left in my attic for a few weeks until they escape and contact local authorities while I’m at Giant Eagle buying egg salad. Kidding, I would never do that. There is no way anything is escaping from my attic, that shit is locked up tight.
The Dangerous Book for Convicts: Prison Tag
Looks like your appointed defense attorney didn’t get you out of this one. Five counts of murder is a difficult case to back. That’s alright though, with this guide you’re set for a fun future in the slammer.
Nascar and Sex Advice
He’s a self-proclaimed expert. He always talks about the time he saw two topless chicks in one day. Spent a month in Thailand and the Feds are after him. Now he wants to help you with the ladies. He said he was going to “punch me till I die,” if I didn’t let him write an update. So enjoy and don’t look at Wolf in the eyes.
Create Your Own Adventure: Summer Vacation
It’s vacation time all around this continent and you’re feeling great. You’re out of school and Grandma’s social security check just arrived in the mail. Let’s go on a road trip to an amusement park! Hopefully you can make the right decisions to get there.
F.P.E.T: First Person Exam Taking
It’s finals week for a lot of schools out there. Millions of people are reviewing their notes in an attempt to finish the year with good grades. Instead of studying, I decided to play a lot of FreeCell followed by a nightcap endurance run of Mario Kart Wii. Through the miracles of modern science, you can read my thoughts as I tried to take an exam.
Novice Facial Hair Countdown
Listen toots, this update is for men, and only the manliest of men for that matter. No gun collection or republican vote is going to fool me! Well, all right, this update is for men who are struggling to grow an awesome beard. I’ve formulaically created a list of the top facial hairstyles chosen by the beard-ly handicapped.
Pass(over) the Joint
So today is Passover, one of the most important holidays in Judaism. It is also 420, a holiday created for the purpose of smoking pot, like Earth Day without the ambition. I guess there's a big party going on downtown tonight. They are handing out these fliers everywhere.
Help! I'm Stuck in College and Can't Find Help!
It’s impossible to get through college on your own. But who on campus is actually there to help you? You have read this countdown to find out. Or just skip to the last three, but don’t do that.
The Passion of CLEATUS
Sentenced for a crime he didn’t commit, CLEATUS died for Hank William Jr.’s sins. I have presented you with some primary sources depicting the last moments on earth for the King of Booya. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME EASTER? Cause it’s Sunday night here in Golgotha!
The First Six Steps of a College Education
Congratulations, you got a high school education. Unfortunately, in our society, those twelve years of your life mean shit. If you want to go to college, and I’m sure you do, then here are the first six obstacles in your way before you can spend the big bucks to live in a shitty dorm room and skip class to play Madden.
College Essays Made Easy
Writing a ten-page paper can be difficult, but by following these steps you can write at least fifteen with minimal effort. We all know the common changes like larger margins and periods, but here are a few tricks that are about to revolutionize the field.
The Wrath of CLEATUS
Cleatus, the FOX NFL mascot known for his no-bullshit exercises, only wanted equal opportunity. When FOX fired him instead, he contacted a longtime friend and world-famous football entertainer for help. This collection of primary sources shows the downward spiral of these two iconic images of football. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME UPDATE!?
LoyalTV and a Tax Refund
Now that the government is giving us all free money, we need a site that let’s strangers tell each other worthless opinions on products. That’s LoyalTV.com. How does an almost nude woman feel about toothpaste? What is great about an Anime Club? Why do people like Arizona Ice Tea? All questions are answered on LoyalTV (and this update.)
Atheism: The Newest Internet Trend
People will do anything to be cool, even if it is a bloated nonsensical mutation of its original meaning. Remember the violence surrounding Starter Jackets? Well, atheism is the Starter Jacket of the Internet. Innocent people are getting attacked everywhere because of this new trend, but with a lot less crack cocaine.
