Metamorphose, submitted by Allieans. Are you a big fan of Metamorphosing? No? Well, somebody out there is. Metamorphose is a massive database of all sorts of transformations, sorted into exciting sub-sections such as age, animal, furry, gender, inanimate mechanical, mythical, size, werewolves and more! What's amazing about this site is how boring all the database entries are. Here's an example from an episode of TV's "Dobie Gillis":

Maynard drinks a potion which turns him into a monster, then into a duplicate of Dobie's dream girl. Dobie decides to drop the girlfriend and date Maynard, but at the end of the episode he changes back. Brief.

And another from "Mork & Mindy":

The KKK is tormenting Mindy because of her Polish heritage. Mork retaliates by changing all the Klan members into blacks, Asians, and Hispanics. The grand dragon ends up striped like a barber pole.

These are truly incredible transformations worth documenting and cataloging into a searchable online database! Oh, and the message boards are filled with great ideas!

I have in mind a movie that hinges on an identity transformation (female to female) that doesn't involve actual transformation, but it's so darned twisted and welldone that it really deserves a spot on this board. I was reminded of the movie when it was mentioned in Steve Vance's WALPURGIS NIGHT (you're right, Duncan S. FitzHugh: WALPURGIS NIGHT is a classic!). CZECH MATE was shot in the early Eighties and involved an attractive Englishwoman (Susan George) who visits Czechoslovakia (SIC?) with her husband while the Cold War is still Hot. Susan is chased all around the countryside by vicious enemy agents (some of whom she cleverly manages to kill) before escaping and racing to the airport to meet with her husband. What she didn't know was that hubby was in cahoots (sorry, Catoose) with the Czechs, and she sees him boarding a return flight to England with another good-lookin' blonde whom everyone believes to be Susan herself. In fact, the husband identifies the second woman as his wife and pretends to not even recognize the real Susan. Poor Susie is arrested by the secret police, and in the last scene of the movie, we see her some five years later confined to a dungeon-like mental institution while passing doctors comment on her "delusion" that she's really an Englishwoman who left the country years ago. Thus, Susan effectively "becomes" the local blonde for the remainder of her life, and the local blonde "becomes" Susan in order to carry out her spying missions for the Czech government. No actual physical metamorphosis takes place, but they're now each other forever. How close to acceptance on this board does CZECH MATE come?

Oh Metamorphose, you've transformed your way into my cat's heart and replaced his brain with that of my Uncle's!

– Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka (@TwitterHasBannedAllMyAccountsEver)

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful