Family Integrity, submitted by Hammy Burton. Kids these days are influenced by media to do dangerous things and hurt themselves. But this New Zealand church has the answer to stop kids from getting hurt that way: hurting them.

If the child is angry after the smack (slamming doors, pouting, etc.), you have not smacked hard enough, for the foolish rebellion is still there manifesting itself: it has not yet been dislodged from the heart. Point this out to the child and give him or her the opportunity to get rid of the rest of the rebelliousness himself, for other wise you will have to administer another smack. After the smack there are cuddles and prayer, at which time the child is very open, teachable and receptive. Here is the time to reason with words of instruction and encouragement.

God wants you to beat the hell out of your children until they can't protest anymore. What, are you going to argue with God? Why he ought to give you such a smack...

– Joseph "Maxnmona" Fink

More Awful Link of the Day

This Week on Something Awful...

  • Pardon Our Dust

    Pardon Our Dust

    Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.



    Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind

Copyright ©2024 Jeffrey "of" YOSPOS & Something Awful