Capitalism: A Love Story; Zombieland; The Invention of Lying; Toy Story 3-D; Surrogates

Awful DVDs

	Do you love classic Hollywood monster movies but wish they included 25% more Seth Rogen? Then Monsters vs. Aliens is probably for you.
	Away We Go stars John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph traveling the country looking for a place to raise their baby, only to find that all of their friends are horrible people. It's the date movie of the year!
	If Wes Anderson remade Ocean's 11 and based it on his recurring fever dreams, the result might resemble The Brothers Bloom. And it's too clever by half.
	According to IMDb user JenLuvr69, Management is "a touching comedy." Well, OK, now we know what it's not. Thanks, IMDb!
	The Girlfriend Experience debuted on cable because theaters feared porn star Sasha Grey might attract the kind of people that usually watch her movies. Heaven forbid Grey star in a movie that doesn't require anal.
	A better title for Year One would be The Teenager's Guide to The Bible, but Mel Brooks already made that movie and even that ended up sucking...still, it didn't suck nearly as hard as this.
	Eddie Murphy's career is tanking, so he goes to his daughter and her imaginary friends for career advice. Wait...what? That's actually a movie? Imagine That!
	In My Life in Ruins, Nia Vardolas is back to offend the Greeks deeper than before, but it's totally hilarious, see, because she's Greek! Richard Dreyfuss co-stars, wishes Spielberg would hit him up for a Jaws reboot.
	Anvil!: The Story of Anvil is a documentary about the greatest metal band you've never heard of, featuring interviews with a bunch of famous musicians who have heard of Anvil because...well, it's trendy.
	Kevin Spacey really flexes his acting muscles in Shrink; see, instead of playing an intellectual with a superiority complex, he plays an intellectual with a superiority complex and a raging pot habit!
	Lies & Illusions -- wait, who the fuck watches this shit?

About the Contributors

Matt "the" Gronke, arguably the most qualified film critic on the entire Internet, received his Bachelor's Degree in Film Criticism in 2006. When he's not busy being unemployed due to his degree in Film Criticism, he spends his time posting on Internet forums, scoffing with smug pretentiousness at every film mentioned. He's seen better -- much better -- and you are just too small-minded to "get it."

Sean "bad movie knight" Hanson thinks Under Siege rules while Raging Bull drools. Seriously.

Ian "ProfessorClumsy" Maddison is taller than most cats -- almost noticeably so. In fact, he is so tall that he can reach door-handles without any help and in spite of being from the north of England, he can successfully operate a computer without electrocuting himself.

Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade once gave a lecture on the social merits of John Carpenter's They Live. The university still won't return his calls.

– Joseph "Jay Dub" Wade and Sean "Keanu Grieves" Hanson