Zack: I doubt you're going to walk away from a conversation with a lynx feeling like you learned something.
Steve: It says "very" intelligent. That's smarter than the average human.
Zack: I don't buy it. If the lynx was so smart he would be half crazy from doing nothing all day. You wouldn't want to talk to him.
Steve: How do you know he does nothing all day? Maybe he keeps busy.
Zack: Doing what? He doesn't have any opposable thumbs.
Steve: So?
Zack: He couldn't have built a civilization. He's a brain smarter than the average human trapped in a huge cat's body. He's not going to be well mentally from just sitting on a cliff all day waiting for some bug-eyed goofs like this bunch to walk up and interrogate him.
Steve: Maybe he lives with someone. Watches their TV all day. Has them open jars for him. Maybe he has a girlfriend.
Zack: The lynx has a girlfriend?
Steve: Could be. He used his superior intelligence to seduce her.
Zack: How did he even get near her? He's a giant wild animal.
Steve: Maybe he pretended to be hurt and when she brought him a bandage he seduced her.
Zack: No, she wouldn't. A giant lynx is dangerous.
Steve: Women like dangerous men. The lynx could have treated her badly.
Zack: Are you still on that mailing list?
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.
