An unbelievably clever and fabulous costume! A favorite!!!

You just won't believe how great this one is until you see it in action. Step into it and slide your arms into the legs and you'll leave everyone kicking and screaming with delight! Polyester laminated onto foam creates a very durable costume you can use year after year. Available in adult size Large.

Zackula: I want to pee on her.

Dr. Thorpenstein: Seriously though, if a really attractive girl were wearing that costume, it would be really tough to figure out where the boundaries were.

Zackula: Max Hardcore says there are no boundaries. He would pee all over this MILF.

Zackula: He would yell, "Say goo, you filthy little bitch! I am going to pee-fuck your head-cunt until you puke-fart!"

Dr. Thorpenstein: Oh man, this costume really screams "constitutional test lawsuit." This thing is an ugly first amendment trial waiting to happen.

Zackula: For some reason I've been thinking a lot about moral hazard lately. I don't know, I think it applies here.

Dr. Thorpenstein: I think the line between this and obscenity is if they make a version where it's a potty chair.

Dr. Thorpenstein: No, I guess that just adds context for the pee, so maybe it's less obscene, artistically speaking. I dunno, man, we're in a real grey area here.

I think the line between this and obscenity is whether or not you own your own jet. If you own your own jet you can pee on anyone at any time because, hey, jet.

Dr. Thorpenstein: I'm sure you know that the satisfaction of peeing on anyone-- especially a baby-- is multiplied by the number of feet of height from which you pee on them. So peeing on this weird adult baby from a jet, yow, that's some real action.

And there's no way the constitution talks about jets. That thing is like 100 years old.

Dr. Thorpenstein:
Maybe it's got some shit like "Ifsoever man flieth upon a bird of science, then I, God, do permit this man to pee upon the babies of the field."

Zackula: "For he who casteth his body into the air shall know the glory and the reward of castething his golden rain back down upon the sunward faces of cherubs in their feeding yokes."

Dr. Thorpenstein: "And here be the first fucking amendment, bitches: hesoever who doth not drinketh the worm is a pussy."

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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About This Column

Fashion SWAT... the fashion industry is obsessed with impracticality. We know that what designers create was never meant to be worn by the grimy masses, but that doesn't somehow diminish how ridiculous many of these costumes are. Make no mistake, they are costumes, and like a Halloween prize pageant we will turn our discerning gaze on the grievous fashion misfires of Paris, Milan, and New York. We're not pulling any punches, and we're definitely not interested in making any friends. We're Joan Rivers without Melissa Rivers to temper our screeching. We're the Fashion Police in jack boots. We are Fashion SWAT.

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