Get Your Goon On

quadreb posted:

I am a gamer. I like to spend a lot of my time playing games, anything from WoW to tabletop RPGs, FPS's, to darts. It's always been like this, from playing Gauntlet on a Commodore 64 in my youth, to early 90's BBS's, to MUDs, and now, to WoW. Usually, I play obsessively - the game takes precedence over much of my life. Often to the detriment of other things I should spend time on.

I was engaged to a wonderful woman for four years. At the start of the third year, I signed up for WoW upon the recommendation of many of my friends. Even from the start, I was addicted. I played 8 hours a day on the trial account, and quickly bought the game. Early on, it was easy to, if not hide, at least @downplay this behavior to my fiancee.

Over time, I became aware on some level that I had a choice to make; I could either keep playing WoW, or keep in good standing with my fiancee. I started lying to protect myself from her disapproval, telling her I was working late, or going out with friends, when in reality, I played WoW for 8-12 hours a day.

I convinced myself she was trying to control my life by asking to see me for a few hours, or even a short phone call, a day. I told myself that I was a gamer before she came along, and nothing would change that. I equivocated not being able to make 100% raid attendance in an end-game guild with her having unreasonable time demands on me.

It took 9 months before I brought myself to do it. But I broke it off, having chose "gaming" in general over her. Well, the only game I really played that had any effect on the relationship was WoW, but I glossed over that. We went back and forth a few times, getting back together (I know, I know), and breaking up again for the same reason.

The final time, I had just gotten back together with her. That very evening, I was playing WoW, not even doing anything important in particular (running Scholo, I think). She called me up, and asked me if we could get together that night. Despite having called her only hours before, telling her how much I wanted to be together, I deluded myself to the point where even this simple request from her was denied, for reasons of keeping my "freedom".

Now, over a year and a half later, I'm still playing WoW. I'm in an end-game guild running 5 nights a week. I still talk with her occasionally, and the conversation is friendly enough, but I can't help but regret the breakup, considering I have had no luck with women since (which isn't exactly a surprise).

Why am I writing this? It's hard to say, and I don't really know myself. Some combination of a desire to warn others, self-pity, simply wanting to vent a little, and asking for help.

It seems to me that I should probably get help for this addiction, regardless of the cause - it seems very detrimental. Whenever I try to quit, I end up playing again within a week out of boredom. Any suggestions?

Fucking agreed. I grew up in a time when people WEREN'T crazy about antibacterial everything and spent my childhood playing out in forests, construction sites and beaches where TEENAGERS HAD SEX. I also ate and did what I wanted, even if it had fallen on the counter for a while, OR EVEN FELL ONTO THE FLOOR FOR A FEW SECONDS. As a result I have the resistance of Superman. If this was World of Warcraft my resistance to Nature would be 400. I don't get flus, or pretty much any passing diseases. It takes prolonged and heavy exposure before I catch anything.

People are saying that his devotion to WoW is a bad thing, but why isn't devotion to a partner just as bad a thing? Do they not take up just as much time? Do they not cost at least as much, if not more, money to maintain? When you fool around in WoW, you use up some time, maybe get some epics out of it. When you fool around with a girl, you get emotional dependency, sometimes financial dependency, and sometimes a baby. Children are a lasting consequence of relationships.

Why is it presumed this is better than a temporary addiction to WoW, which will end when the servers go down (which would be a lot sooner than 18 years - the time to a child being an adult)? A lot of you are right - he has blown a chance to get married to a girl for a lifetime. He has decided not to devote the rest of his life to one thing (i.e. one relationship with one girl) and instead has chosen to devote his life right now to one thing, and has left his future open to other possibilities, which will at that time appeal more than WoW does at the present.

Basically, why is a lifetime commitment to a real-life partner preferable on the grounds that it is a better choice in terms of not being shackled to something?

[...]

In 8th grade, for some reason I hadn't mastered cleaning my ass, so I would always get shit stains and shit smells. One day we're on a field trip to the aquarium and I notice a smell. We get out of the bass and the shit has stewed in my pants for an hour. I'm walking alone, watching some fishes and people keep pointing at me and saying things like " that kid smells like shit". So I go clean myself up, but there's still some crusty dried out shit left on the inside of my pants, and thus, I still smell like shit. We wend inside the theater that they were showing us some videos on fishes. I'm sitting by myself, not paying attention, when all of a sudden, they call my name. So now I have to walk out of my seat, which is not easy at its self, because I'm fat, but when you smell like shit, it's death walk.