Yo what is UP

I am back to SUSPEND this shiTSo I figure you all know shit just got REAL in the election. That monster zombie dude pulled some move like in constantine when shit is goin totally wrong and so keanu reeve kills himself and freezes time and then the devil appears and keanu is like "yo lucifer you can have my soul but the gay dude got the spear of destiny in the pool and hes gonna fuck everything up." And then lucifer saves the day and puts everythin right and cleans shit up and then unfreezes time and keanu is cool.

This is basically what old dude who is makin Mrs. Palin into a VEep is doin'. Its called a metaphor. Look it up, dillweeds. He is gonna fuck up obamnas shit now with the help of george bush. The alliance cant be beat.

And like minds obviously think alike cuz I just thought up the same plan to deal with the stupid shit is runnin rampage in my life.

Let me tell you, too much drama is what you get from your babys mama.

First thing first, the ecomony is all fucked up. I dont know if yall been to alaska but shit is always like way too expensive so we get around that by gettin free money. Well shit is gettin too expensive so we need more free money, but the gaywads runnin this gay ass state are not hurryin up enough with the money. I dont know who the fuck is in charge of things right now but they need to fix that shit because a tim horton costs like 20 dollars.

Yo I rented the hulk from blockbuster and that shit was 9 dollars and that dont even make sense. How can the cost of a rental go up because of teh econmoy? they already bought that shit!

Thats nothin though because the economy problem is just something for bristol to bitch about. She is gettin hella fat and she is complainin too much. Shit with hotels spoiled her ass. after like two weeks sleepin in fine ass hotels in the lower 48 and doin bristol doggystyle on everythin includin this treadmill thing they put in one room that was badass we had in New York the bitch is spoiled

SHIT it IS fuckin tight as hell to get all the dominoes pizzas you can eat and just call up and they will bring you a beer without checkin id. shit yea that rules, but you gotta come back down from cloud 9 some time. Got to face reality. And now bristol aint facin shit because not only is her fat ass back in alaska AND stayin with me in my apartment that Mrs. palin bought me in anchorage, but she is also takin care of trog.

What THE fuck?!??

yo I dont even know if this is real or aliens or what but fuuuuuck just a sweet lil picture I thought I should show yall

when we gave that baby to mrs. palin she was all like "this is gonna be great trunk can be my baby now because everbody in shit dumb alaska loves a fuckin mommy." well shit i love a fuckin mommy too if shes on the business end of my dick and has huge titties, but now she is pawnin the baby off on bristol an me because her back was sore or some shit.

Some shit i am just realizing about bitches & babies since bristol and tramp moved in. especially bitches around babies with their hormones out and shit.

first thing that sucks mega dicks is bitch constantly is a nazi about blunts. OHHH don't smoke the chronic in here it makes me cough OHHHH dont stand over turk and blow rings in his face FUCK THAT lil nigga is retarded as fuck what the fuck does he care about gettin tore up?

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About This Column

Levi "HOckey" Johnston is a pro writer now and hockey expert since forever. He comments regularly on family life, politics, Alaska, hockey, vag, babies, babes, 4x4s, hunting, and stuff like that. Oh, yeah, and he was engaged to Bristol Palin and had one (two) kids with her, so...I can put anything here? He also fights like a devil and pounds poon like a demon. He's pretty much unbelievable. His life is a raw adventure to the root.

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