juchenews.kr: welcome our new Leader General and Hero of Korea

This article is part of the Foreign News Aggregators series.

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Dear Leader Names Son Kim Jong Un As "Excellent Leader" and Successor and 100 Star General of People's Tank Artillery of Korea

Successful Reign of Kim Jong Il Celebrated With Fireworks, Immense Parade, Flyover of Capital By Formation of Soviet Jet Planes Built in 1965

Dear Leader in Spirit of Benevolent Forgiveness Allows Contempted Prisoners to Look Briefly at Photographs of Family Members Previously Executed as Traitors

Kim Jong Il to Use Down Time to Pen Heroic Novel: "Incredible Lover Who is Also a Genius Spy and a President of All of Asia"

Excellent Leader Considers Important First Deadly Incident Along Korean Border, Said to Be Leaning Towards Classic Ambush of Joint Patrol

Record Obedience of Rules Credited to Southern Regional Party Commander Jin Il Dong's 2010 Face Caning Policy

Heroic Road Links Previous Roads By Road, "Such a Road" Say Marveling Onlookers

Science Study: North Korean Male Organ Most Compatible With Pleasure of Any Race

Plutonium-239 Declared Most Juche Isotope By Our Nation's Journey of Eternal Unanimity and Strength Into Tomorrow Magazine

Jet Helicopter May Be Possible In Our Lifetime

Kim Jong Il Museum of Shirts Opens to All Heroes Wishing to See Dear Leader's Shirts, Tunics, Undershirts, and Lumbar Braces

Coward USA Prepares to Elect Witch to Senator, Will Use Occult Superstitions to Battle Korean Unification

500 Million Crazed Capitalist Pig Dogs Utilize Face Book to Grow Eggplants and Horses to Eat on a Computer

USA VP Joe Biden Tells Liberals to "Quit Whining" About Failure to Enact Revolutionary Changes to Collapsing, Rotten Society Doomed to Disappear Into History

Gay Music Teen Commits Suicide Because of Decadent Western Obsession With Technology

Japan Afraid of China, Ignores People's Navy Heroic Kidnapper Submarine in Tokyo Bay, Hostesses Captured

Netherlands, Too Weak to Place Muslim Dissidents in Reeducation Work Camps, Opts to Ban Islamic Veils

BP Oil Well Still Releasing Oil Into Gulf of Mexico Because of USA Foolishness and Greed

Chilean Miners Request Portraits of Dear Leader, Copies of On the Juche Idea

Shark Jump Ends in Gruesome Tragedy: Kim Jong Il Commissions Remake of Happy Days to Reveal Misery of Population of USA During Nostalgic Time Periods

DPRK Internet Revealed, Will Use Artillery to Transmit Information Across Great Distances

Nigeria Exchanges Oil for Tools and Supplies of North Korean Rocket Launchers Inside Turnip Crates

Pope Realizes All Religion is Lies and Embraces the Revolutionary Spirit: It Could Happen By 2011

Celebration of Excellent Leader to Allow Color of Red on Shirts for One Month

Book: Bloody Meat Grinder of Afghanistan Haunts Obama Dreams With Skull Visage and Cries for More Capitalist Blood to Lubricate the Gears of the USA War Machine

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)