[Riddick looks at the glowing Machariel sword in his hand. He tests its weight. He spins it and flips it around and appears to know exactly how to use the giant sword.]
RIDDICK: It'll do.
[Boglath, Devourer of Furya, grips Riddick by his throat, lifting him up off the ground. Smoke glows off Boglath's body. His faceless head tilts to one side and Riddick's face begins to appear on the surface as Boglath eats Riddick's life force.]
BOGLATH: Your hatred is sweet.
RIDDICK: Tell me how this tastes.
[Kicks a knife into Boglath's head.]
[Riddick flexes his double muscles. The Machariel Nephilim Guard swoop in around him. They are numberless. Riddick floats into the air. His eyes glowing. Lightning crackles around him. Int he cathedral windows planets are visible being smashed apart by the black beams of the Revelation Hammers.]
RIDDICK: Let's dance.
This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- You Kids Have Gotta Stop Googling Terrorist Stuff
- An Overview of the NBA's Secret Surveillance Program (Codename H.A.N.D.L.E.S.)
- Alex Rodriguez, did you eat my Pizza Rolls?
- I'm Looking to Hire Some Pretty Tough Dudes to Bust Up a Road House
- Fez 2 Wasn't The Only Game Canceled Under Bizarre Circumstances
