Goofus finishes first and wants to watch TV while they do it.

Gallant does the exact same thing because our misogynist culture doesn't value women's sexual needs #YesAllSexGuys


Secrets to being a good sex guy

The first secret of being a good sex guy is: There is no secret. Just be a good sex guy.
The second secret of being a good sex guy is: There is no secret. I told you that.
The third secret of being a good sex guy is: If you're still reading, congratulations, you weren't fooled. There is a secret to being a good sex guy which i discovered years ago. The secret is to never read to the end of things, because the end is where you end up getting owned by me, the good sex guy. I will never reveal my secret.


Blaxploitation hero Sexual Jones, a character appearing in more than 35 different films from 1973-1986,[1] is often described in the films as a "bad sex guy."[2] However, the audience is then informed that the characters in the film "can dig it."[3] In this way, Jones can be defined as both a "good sex guy" and a "bad sex guy," a dichotomy that Dr. Cornel West calls "the paradox of black sexuality in white society."[4]


Sex is like pizza: when it's bad, i won't have it, and when it's good, i do


sex is like pizza: the enjoyability of a pineapple topping depends entirely on the other ingredients


she beckons me to come to bed, her sultry eyes and naked from enticing me, i approach with one hand held behind my back. as i near her i reveal my hidden surprise, a pineapple. her breath quickens and her eyes dilate as she reaches beneath her pillow, her shaking hands fumbling with an unseen object. my heart stops, fear gripping me as i wait for the reveal, wondering if we are truly compatible.... her hands slowly pull something from the dark, it glistens in the faint light, i can breath again, happiness sweeps over me, its a honey ham.


good sex guy: me when becky and i were happy in those halcyon days of yesteryear

bad sex guy: that arrogant asshole with perfect hair that becky is with now


There are good Sex-men, like Cyclops, and bad ones, like Wolverine, but they can still work together.


bad sex guy: learns sex moves at dojo run by mean ex-special forces guy

good sex guy: learns sex moves one-on-one as personal slave of maverick retired sex expert, who teaches unusual long-shot technique that is pivotal in winning the love interest's heart at . . . the . . . uh, sex competition?


Deep into the thick of the Sex World Championships Steve lands the dismount. The crowd goes wild. A single tear runs down his face as the judges hold up their cards. 10 they all say. Finally, Steve is a good sex guy.


Draped in a American flag, Steve stands atop the podium. He is flanked by a disappointed Finn and weeping Hungarian. They despair in their inferior medals. Steve has claimed the gold. Finally America has a true champion. Steve the most good sex guy in the world. Gold Medalist Freestyle Gay Division. A national hero.

Piso Mojado

Was it good for you ma'am? Of course it was, because when it cones to sex...im as good as it gets. *fans and spins penis around hand in a flourish before holsterring it with a tip of my hat*

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