Zack: You sit Gruber down in a chair and put a cigarette in his mouth.
Steve: We need some info. Betty is going to do the talking and then I guess Walt can like write this guy's answers doing on a piece of paper. Will that work?
Steve: "What is this place?"
Zack: "A radio outpost. Ve decrypt and encrypt signals traffic."
Steve: "I've worked in like all sorts of secret radio places in England. I don't think any of them had a big spherical room full of dead bodies in the basement."
Zack: "So that's vat happened to ze Americans. Did you use ze crystal to activate it?" Steve "Maybe. Why don't you tell us what it is."
Zack: "It is ze final answer. The key to unraveling ze ultimate code. The truth to everything."
Steve: Yeah great so the truth to everything is dead bodies and a rave party that makes you crazy.
Zack: "Few can withstand the truth of the pattern."
Steve: "What do we do now? I said you said you could help us. On the radio."
Zack: He frowns and tries to figure out what you just said.
Steve: "When we came out of the hatch, I heard myself on the radio, warning me not to open the hatch. And then I said to find Gruber."
Zack: "Ja, you found me."
Steve: "Now what?"
Zack: Before he can answer, you hear a howling from outside the barracks.
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Zack Parsons, Steve "Malak" Sumner, and friends tackle bizarre role playing game products that make them wonder, "What the fuck!?" From the early days of Gygax to contemporary role playing games, none will be spared.