Haggard visited his wealthy neighbors. It proved to be a fateful decision. Once in their house, the travel button on the map was still there but it had ceased working. Unwilling to leave, eat or sleep (although he sat on the bed several times) Haggard fell into a nightmare cycle of dancing, moping, and passing out.
With Haggard near the point of death, I realized there was another way to travel in the form of a tiny house on his portrait at the bottom of the screen. This returned him to his happy home. Someone was already there, waiting for him.
Haggard tried to warn us. He tried to warn the world.
It was too late. He had exhausted himself and not a bench in sight. There was nothing he could do...
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
Featured articles and columns that don't fit anywhere else on Something Awful.