EPILOGUE
ALEC
Asphyxiated after sewing himself into Shanna's mattress in an attempt to "score".
SHANNA
Estranged third wife of Jughead. Made herself barren in an attempt to destroy their unborn love child with the antenna of a cordless phone.
BIG JIM
Died in what he thought was Vietnam. It was really the woods behind a Vietnamese restaurant.
TOMMY
Like all redheads, after being found guilty he was executed and his body was processed into prison soap.
BOBBY
Started his own X-Treme Christian Youth group based on the teachings of Tony Hawk.
DR. CLAYTON DRUGS
Now teaching Freebasing 101 at Addiction Community College, and moderator of "Goons with Spoons" on the Something Awful Forums.
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This Week on Something Awful...
Pardon Our Dust
Something Awful is in the process of changing hands to a new owner. In the meantime we're pausing all updates and halting production on our propaganda comic partnership with Northrop Grumman.
DEAR FURRIES: WE WERE WRONG
Dear god this was an embarrassment to not only this site, but to all mankind
Let's improve landmarks
Landmarks and statues around the world: old, boring and could use an update.
Make Horror Wholesome
Join the SA Forum photoshop goons in their quest to make horror wholesome!
Every Conceivable Way EA Could Screw Up Star Wars: Squadrons
Yes, there are finally enough games for a new round of One Sentence Reviews
About This Column
The Something Awful front page news tackles anything both off and on the Internet. Mostly "on" though, as we're all incredible nerds.
Previous Articles
- THE NEWS MAGAZINE OF THE COMPUTER SCREEN!
- A Modest Papal Proposal
- Bin Laden Determined to Strike with the Mentally Disabled
- The David Milch School Of Screenwriting
- A.P. Brown is the Guarantor of Absolute Satisfaction
