Picking the right name for a girl can be even more important than picking a name for a boy. This is because boys tend to give each other cool nicknames like "Spud" and "Chode" and girls never do this, because they are more polite. So choose carefully.

Short for Margarita, a popular beverage consumed by moms at Chili's Restaurant & Bar after 4:00 PM on a weekday.

Common misspelling of the name Piggy. When intentional, usually given to one-legged babies by bad parents.

Feminized version of the name Tobacco. See also: Chewbacca.

Pronounced Am-bro-juh by a mother with a two-pack smokers voice in a maternity-sized Taz shirt.

Shortened version of King of Lies, a name given in honor of Lord Satan. Hail Satan. See also: Miley.

Derived from the Latin Julitta, meaning "Little Jew," the slang name for Biblical Gremlins.

From the Greek, Zoie, meaning "Tempter of Noble Truth Sayers." A good choice for pragmatic parents who want their daughter to become hated by Adam Baldwin. See also: Anita.

A frankly messed up name to give to a baby at this point, unless she is a bewitchingly sexy baby.

A recently popularized name, derived from the Old English surname Piedtonne, which means "Huge Shitty Idiot Person." See also: Tucker.

Shortened version of Vagina. Deal with it, boys.

– Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons (@sexyfacts4u)

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