Your Three Days After Christmas Shopping Guide
Missed Christmas? Retain your few remaining friendships with our handy guide.
5 Mediocre Christmas Gifts for Your Mediocre Friends
Nothing but the most convenient for the outer rung of your circle of friends.
He's Prim, He's Proper, He's the Serial Killer Next Door
Serial killers: they're just like you and me.
NFL Protests Have Made My Rowdy Friends Significantly Less Rowdy
Those NFL players have really stuck their knees in it this time!
Stern Dad Reviews: Your Arts and Crafts
You tried, but you failed. And I'm here to tell you how in excruciating detail.
Make Halloween Great Again
The scariest thing about Halloween isn't ghouls or ghosts. It's the PC police.
Apologies from the Good Guy with a Gun
You might be disappointed in me, but I'm honestly way more disappointed in myself.
I'll Just Be Over Here, Saying Things
Afraid of ideas and free speech? Well then you better not read this article, coward.
THE BEAT SHEET - The ONLY Newsletter FOR COPS BY COPS
Get the REAL DIRT from BIG BOYS IN BLUE who deal with BAD HOMBRES!
I Only Attended That Nazi Rally for Research Purposes
To be honest, it's extremely insulting to be labeled a "Nazi." Was I marching with several Nazis? Yes. Was I waving a Nazi flag as I marched? Yes, but only out of kindness: I was holding it for another man so he could wave a larger Nazi flag.
A Treatise on Gender by Todd from Accounts Payable
One completely reasonable non-sexist man explains why women shouldn't be tortured by white-collar jobs.
Dear President Oboe IV
I have raised over $300 participating in quilting bees for the American Quilting Bee Society so I think I deserve at least seven minutes of your time.
5 Essential Tips for Mass Transit Travel
Remember, traveling underground in a rickety metal tube full of farts carries its own specific code of conduct.
I'm Pretty Sure this Airbnb is Just a Treehouse
I had to register my complaints while they were still fresh. And while the bark was still fresh and pliable.
A Stoner's Lament
One brave man discovers drugs aren't as accessible as the media would have you believe.
Essential Playerunknown's Battlegrounds Tips
Get good at the hottest online murder simulator with our collection of hints.
Pranks Are Tearing Our Prank Family Apart
Can inflicting severe emotional damage on your own children for profit go too far?
When Is It Okay to Call Someone a "Nazi?"
Should you call someone a Nazi? The answer will surprise you.
The 10 Real Reasons Steve Bannon Was Removed from the National Security Council
The true reasons behind Bannon's removal may surprise you.
Introducing Kitchen Sponges... for MEN
These sponges will make your hair WHITE and your teeth CURLY.
Six-Year-Old YouTuber Under Fire for Anti-Semitic Comments
A young boy, facing controversy over a joke in a country with "free speech?" Is this even America anymore?
Damn, I'm Outrageous
Yeah, I went there. And I'll go there again. Don't believe me? I'm there ALREADY.
DEBATE ME.
Are you a coward, or do you just have more important things to do? Either way, I'll still destroy you with my logic.
The Pizza Promise
If you don't enter our stores with a gun full of bullets and a brain full of unhinged questions, we'll serve you with a smile.
