INTERNAL: Jamba Juice's "Springapalooza" Talking Points
Oh god, how the fuck are we gonna sell these frogurt abominations??
We Must Protect The Rooms Where We Poo and Pee
Liberals want to mess with the rooms where we poo and pee. Unacceptable. We must protect our poo and pee.
Michael Thernovich’s 2017 Valentime’s Day/War On Men Report
Don't get cucked this Valentime's Day, thitizens!
Complaint Letter From A Guy Listening To The Radio Station From The Warriors
''Who are “The Warriors,” and why can’t you just play more Styx?!''
Alt-Right TV Guide
Television from an entirely different group of wealthy coastal elites!
Mass Texts From Your Drug Dealer, A First Year Marketing Major
Amazing deals from an adorable criminal.
"Why Are All The Droids In The Star Wars Universe A-Holes?" by YouTube's "Dirty" Frank Torlinson
Rate and subscribe, you cucks!
Why Is Our Newspaper Entirely Devoted To Our Paperboy?
It's just a little confusing, is all.
WHAT TO DO RE: THOSE MISERABLE FUCKS IN TEAM MYSTIC
This is your wake up call, Utica Pokémon Go Facebook Guild: Valor.
Every Review Of Ghostbusters You Will Read This Week
Was all the controversy worth it? Huh? Was it? Huh?
What Happened On The Final Prairie Home Companion, I Assume
Last night, the final Prairie Home Companion aired. I haven't heard it yet, but here's exactly what happened.
Best Names For Boats II
Boats! They're great. But what should we name them? Let's find out...
The Complete Marvel Cinematic Universe Viewing Order
Because if you watch these movies in the wrong order you might EXPLODE!
In My Darkest Moments, I Realize How Afraid Of Ghosts I Truly Am
I'm Ray Parker Jr, and it's time I came clean.
Highlights From Trump's Leaked Tax Returns (UPDATED)
Finally, a look at the candidate's long-delayed tax returns.
The States, As Named By A 14 Year Old Girl Who Hates You
Guys, I think my niece hates me.
Hilarious Mixed Signals To Send Your Girlfriend
Old mixed signals feeling a little stale? Try some new ones!
TERMINATE SANTIAGO WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE
Apologies for earlier orders ordering TERMINATION WITH MILD PREJUDICE.
An Entire Airplane Helped A Baby Get To Sleep. And I Livetweeted It.
You won't believe this. If I hadn't seen it, I wouldn't have either.
