15 Helpful Tips for Avoiding the Homosexual Plague
The esteemed Dr. Paul gives advice on how to avoid the most debilitating of deserved diseases.
The Teens Call it Klooting
The teens call it klooting. We call it "bad news." All over the country. In your homes and backyards. Klooting has increased at an unprecedented rate. And your children could be at risk. Does your teen show any "trouble signs?"
A Nation Suffers Outrage Fatigue
How can you upset a populace that's already witnessed the nadir of politics?
Video Game Box Art Stars: Where Are They Now?
Learn the actual real true story of the models on the box of the NES game, Anticipation.
Our Child Mayor Must Be Stopped
What if a kid was also a mayor? Read this article, or wait for the heartwarming Disney adaptation 9 months from now.
62 Intolerable Years of Beetle Bailey
Holy Christ, I can't believe this. 62 Years of Beetle Bailey. 62 Intolerable Years of Beetle Bailey. All in one book.
Are You Ready for Some Analogieeeees!?
Hank Williams Jr.’s reworking of “All My Rowdy Friends” is perhaps the ultimate sports anthem; in fact, the only thing missing from this perfect summation of the prime-time, middle American football-watching experience is a woman crying hysterically in the background.
Why Are You Sleeping with the Man from the Halloween Store?
17% of all marriages fail because of Halloween-related adultery. Find out if you're at risk.
Dear President Oboe III
A concerned citizen reaches out to our nation's leader for a third time.
Notes on Our Upcoming School Shooting
Just wanted to touch base with you re: next week's shooting. I've been crunching the numbers over here and feel we really need to synergize in order to come up with an effective game plan.
The Wit and Wisdom of Helen
Lawrence, Kansas native Helen Boczek has accumulated many musings during her 73 years on Earth. Here are some of them.
PrisonProse: Creative Fiction from Inmates
Brighten your day with an original story from one of America's most creative felons.
The Wedding Promise
Faithful monogamy is the cornerstone of reasonable society -- as proven by several Bob Jones University texts, megachurch P.R. agents, and Dave Berg of MAD Magazine's "The Lighter Side of..." section.
Common Questions About My Child Bride
The road we child bride enthusiasts walk is a narrow, lonely one, full of detractors and naysayers who seek to tear down the timeless institution of child marriage.
Ground Rules for Our Gay Hunting Trip
Some of you are just raring to explore the body of another man, to taste the sweet nectar of Miller Light, not from the mouth of a can, but from a mouth surrounded by a full beard and mustache. I am there and with you 100 percent.
Air Dud
Boys, I don't know how to tell you this, but I'm beginning to think that dogs just can't play basketball.
Double Dare Dad
The pain of losing on Double Dare doesn't end when the cameras stop rolling.
A Desperate Plea from Your Son's Teacher
The words no mother wants to hear: "Your child is a moron."
Dear President Oboe II
It is nice to sit and catch up with you again. But I am afraid things have gone from ghosts to goblins for Norma Fedlick. Real goblins, that is.
Heaven is For Real: The Lost Chapter
View the horrors of Hell with a cherubic child as your guide.
Ticks!
Special Guest Writer Josh "Thunderbeard" Pugh reports from deep within tick country on nature's least-misunderstood abomination.
RockTalk.com
Welcome to RockTalk, the Internet's home for hardened earth enthusiasts.
Bob and Josh's Adequate Adventures (Through Time)
What happens when two Something Awful writers use a shaky time-travel premise to explore the oddities of the future?
Dear President Oboe
Thank you for reading this. It took me a long time to find your address as I do not have a computer or know what they do.
