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There's a whimsical appeal to the notion of leaving everything behind and moving to the country. Maybe you're overwhelmed by things like "other people" and "culture". Perhaps you'd like to live in a place where time moves so slowly that you will experience less in life and effectively die in the 1890's.
For the first time in the 2.4 million year span of human existence, every line of announcer commentary from the 2010 edition of NBA Jam has been collected in one place. From the sublime to the baffling, we have every interjection shouted at the player by Tim Kitzrow, categorized by the in-game situation that prompts each reaction.
There is almost enough story in Call Of Duty: Black Ops' single player campaign to fill one side of a napkin. Through the use of the Cryptic Screaming Flashback, however, the game manages to give the impression of being complex and emotionally charged.
Legend has it that this spooky manor is eerily similar to houses that have become famous for having paranormal activity, just like the hit movies Paranormal Activity and Ghost rider.
Munk Bugballe (the company, not the chaotic neutral Dungeons & Dragons character) is releasing a collection of "Classic Bespoke" laptops starting at $7,000. That seems like a lot of money to shell out for a stock low-end MacBook Pro with mahogany, gold, and diamonds glued to its case, but these luxury laptops actually include quite a few extras.
For most touring musicians, strange situations are a daily occurrence; a result of traveling, meeting crazed fans, and spending time with other performers in varying states of sobriety. Sometimes, though, a day on the road goes beyond quirkiness and enters the realm of the truly spooky.
You wake up on a medical table inside an old man's house. He calls himself Doc Mitchell, and he claims to have patched up a gunshot wound to your head. A nice story, but things don't add up. You're in your underwear. If you were shot in the head, why would the doctor need to remove your pants? Is his stitching that inaccurate?
"Screw authority!," Momsen added while making the trek from the set of her television show to a swanky restaurant. "I hate dogcatchers! Homework suuucks! Stay out of our lives, NASA! Bleeeeh!"
Jerry Jones messaged me privately and told me he worked for Valve Software and he needed to see my login details to verify my account. I complied because he was Jerry Jones, but then he told me 'I planned this all along. Now your Steam account is mine and I can finally play Plants Vs. Zombies'
Most new shows are treated a little unfairly. Nearly every media outlet features a fall television preview far in advance, written by someone that has only seen a few clips or perhaps a pilot for each show. Now that we're a few weeks into the season, I've seen enough of this fall's new shows to confidently say that I can be thoroughly unfair.
Holding my daughter close, I tell her that she means the world to me, and that I will always protect her from the madness brewing outside. I am wearing superhero boots, overalls, and an oversized Blanka mask that covers my entire head. A bloody fireaxe rests in my hand.
In many ways, Johnny Mnemonic - the Keanu Reeves film - was eerily prophetic. Everything you come across in a video game has been created within the confines of some crazy virtual reality version of Paint Shop Pro instead of the real world. Or has it?
Future Man is a respected technology thoughter based in New New Holo-London. His insights appear in prestigious periodical wordflows such as Technology Minutely, Alien Gear Review, and Big Wiggly Butts. Through methods which we don't entirely understand, he monitors and comments upon our current technology news from his home in the distant future.
They are the privileged and elite, living in comfort on the combined fortunes of common folk. When the paths of celebrities and politicians intersect with ours, however, their contempt becomes all too apparent.
Using science - infallible, unbiased, numbers-and-beakers-and-everything science - to break down the band's characteristics and determine whether the Beatles were the best at the traits that defined them.
If there's one thing video game players love, it's being badass, unstoppable gamelords that blow through every supposed "challenge" thrown their way in record time with a cocky grin on their Gamer Grub-encrusted mouths while weaker nerds toil in obscurity.
This week the Reds and Cardinals were involved in the most chaotic and brutal baseball fight in recent memory. One guy was even kicking. After reviewing the fracas from every possible angle and possibly using "zoom and enhance" supercomputers, MLB officials have handed down some severe punishments for everyone involved.
We're a few days into StarCraft II's life on the redesigned Battle.net. Players are just beginning to develop multiplayer strategies that - if the original game is any indication - will continue to evolve in ridiculous ways over a span of time that will dwarf most actual wars.
An eBook is, as you might expect, a book that has either been written entirely in an e-mail client or written in the normal fashion (one hand on a typewriter, the other on a handgun pressed against the author's temple, left foot on the clutch, right foot on the gas) then electrified with the machine from Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
As a kid, I was under the impression that in addition to scripting every line of the first nine Star Wars movies before filming A New Hope, George Lucas had fully plotted out more than thirteen billion years of the universe's history. This blew my mind.
The internet is only good for a handful of things, and one of them is ruining discussion through the use of hyperbole and emotionally driven leaps of logic. Take, for instance, the reaction to every other word from this week's press release announcing Dragon Age 2.
Although LeBron James has announced his move to Miami, a source within the James camp has revealed that the basketball phenom's extensive collection of glowing radiological waste has moved to Los Angeles, where it will be scattered across man and building alike with no regard for safety or etiquette.
Not only did Nintendo's 3DS work better than expected, but it was teased alongside a new Kid Icarus game. For those of you who aren't nostalgic nerds, this was like winning a new sportscar and finding your long-dead childhood dog in the trunk, now alive and wearing shades.
Squid ghost screams in horror. All of his nightmares have come true. The waffles are swarming. Enormous bees have accompanied them. A miniature blue elephant has turned on its side and begun an eerily casual vertical descent.
Alpha Protocol is an upcoming spy RPG from some of the people who brought you Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic 2, Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines, Lionheart: Legacy Of The Crusader, and even some games that were mostly finished when they went on sale.
When the topic of the space program comes up, a chorus of timeless questions repeat themselves. "Durr what are the practical applications of exploration, one of the few qualities that sets us apart from animals?" "How come we don't spend all of that money on Earth problems such as my severe short-sightedness?"
Film remakes are tricky. Change too little and you wind up with Psycho. Keep the basics while introducing some good ideas, and you get something as good as the original, like Dawn Of The Dead. Go too far, and Planet Of The Apes happens. Literally. No matter what movie you were trying to remake, it will be Planet Of The Apes.
The fast-approaching FIFA World Cup is the second largest soccer event on the planet. Many argue that it would be #1 if the United States' Major League Soccer championship game didn't go by the somewhat misleading title of Wrestlemania Superbowl M.A.S.H. Finale.
At the opposite end of the yard, a group of bikers occupied a stand of metal bleachers. Some glowered at the new arrivals menacingly, straddling their seats, turning imaginary chopper throttles and making intimidating "VRRRM-VRRM!" noises with their mouths.
In the coming weeks you will find yourself espousing the virtues of termites much more than usual. Should you encounter anyone that voices an opposing viewpoint on the matter, you will defend termites angrily. Within three months, you will most likely die.
Bobby Flay adopts a tough guy persona so he can scowl or act unimpressed in lieu of thinking of something interesting to say. I would make fun of him for doing this, but it's exactly how I would get through life if my grumpy face didn't lead people to ask if I'm about to cry.
I'm enjoying a romantic dinner with a sensual lady. I'm in my tux, she's in one of those playboy bunny outfits. I make her laugh deeply with captivating tales of instant messaging with Lowtax. The whimsical brick-a-brack adorning the restaurant's walls seem to swirl around us in a manifestation of the whirlwind love that is blossoming.
Due to recent developments dogfighting will no longer be part of the event, but audience members are still encouraged to starve their pets.
Honestly, I thought quicksand was made up for the movies. I didn't think it was real, just as I didn't think Apple would really release a tablet without an integrated stylus for handwriting recognition or some sort of unique operating system that would take full advantage of the device's capabilities.
You might think the new series Spartacus: Blood And Sand is a mix between the slow-motion green-screened bare-chested violence of 300, the cgi blood from the 2008 installment of Rambo and the, well, everything else of HBO's Rome minus the good writing and acting and historical accuracy.
There was Elric The Just's golden turtleneck, next to Balhaut's feared snowman-and-reindeer fleece, and across from them hung Lord Wesdrake's blessed striped sweater, with the wide elastic band at the bottom that made everything above it appear balloon-like. A finer collection of noteworthy sweaters had never been assembled in one location.