Some flatheaded mutant shows off the latest Appleton City fashion garment: Shit Shoes. Made from the same material that composes your head, you four eyed fungus factory.

This is the only way a goth girl will be able to get a man between her legs. Hell, when you're some Mary Manson worshipping loser, you'll take any bone you can get. I wouldn't touch a goth broad with a 20 foot electric nightstick, unless I'm breaking it over their skull of course.

Oh wonderful, more blank shooting Failures of the Justice League. Quick Robin, call Batman so he can come over and throw your geeky ass off a bridge. But where the hell is Batman anyway?

Oh, there he is, in the middle, with his buddies Queen Sixpack and The Squirmy Biker. Quick gang, better go solve a crime before mom gets home and tells your zit-infested asses to go get a job at the Cracker Barrel.

Reggie Henderson. His superpower is being so goddamn ugly that it looks like he's being dragged through a wind tunnel by angry horses. Hopefully that shit isn't an airborn virus I can catch when I'm introducing my crowbar to each and every one of this fat meatskull's ribs.