Oh fantastic, it's Crazy Wacky Zany Tape Boy! Let's see how crazy and wacky it is when I staple you to a piece of plywood and hammer roofing nails through your eyesockets, you hyperactive scab.

Everybody in Appleton City likes Snowball, the Human Carpet Sample! No wait, I meant they like to snowball. My mistake.

Dear Sweet Fucking Father in Hell, I don't know how much alcohol that guy drank, but he must be wearing the world's thickest pair of beer goggles ever. Do yourself a favor and start swallowing the glass shards before you wake up, buddy. It will be more pleasant than waking up next to Bride of Frankenstein there and realizing you just slipped your shriveled dick into the world's most rancid cheese factory.

Bobby Garden just gets absolutely overjoyed when his one-eyed dirtbag dog drops a log on his floor.

(FROM THE LEFT): Toilet Elf, Calvin the Constipated Ogre, and the Eyeball Wizard.

(NOT FEATURED): Me beating these three greasyfaced cretins with a rusted pipe wrench I found in a bucket outside the Hardee's on Blakemore Avenue.

Another sniveling Butter Troll, curling up so that when I start clubbing him with a folding chair, perhaps it won't bust too many vertebrae. They get very defensive when you corner them, and begin to emit horrible odors. They do the same when they're just walking around too. Actually, I'm fairly sure their bodies are composed of 99.9% horrible odors.