American Gladiators: Then And Now
After going on a short twelve year hiatus for a few production meetings and the construction of a new set, the subtly patriotic series American Gladiators is set to return in 2008. How does the new version of the show stack up against the original from the early 90's?
Overanalyzing The Duke Nukem Forever Teaser
What we learned from the Duke Nukem Forever teaser: Smoking cigars while lifting weights can have horrific side effects on your face and impair your ability to form cohesive one-liners.
Laying The Foundation
What secrets lie within the heavily guarded facility where brick shipments arrive at all hours of the day and night? Are the rumors of strange and unethical experiments true, and if they are, what purpose do they serve?
Highlights From The Mitchwell Report
After investigating the steroid scandal for nearly two years, the Mitchwell Report has been released to the public. We sorted through the 400+ pages to bring you the biggest surprises and the juiciest details.
Holiday Gift Guide
Choosing the perfect gift for the gamer in your life can be difficult, so we put together a holiday gift guide with the hottest gifts that will make the gamer in your life "Quake"... not from "F.E.A.R.", but joy! And that's no "Fable"! "Duke Nukem Forever"!
The Gerstmann Quandary
Now that a week has passed since the controversial firing of Gamespot's former editorial director Jeff Gerstmann, we set aside the juvenile humor for one day to cover every side of the most culturally significant video game story since Aki Ross from that cgi Final Fantasy movie posed in a bikini for Maxim.
Local News Team Five Coverage: The Botnet Menace
When technology wreaks havoc, your local news station is on the scene to explain computers in an informed and entirely accurate manner. Here, Local News Team 5 delves into the breaking Botnet story.
Ass Effect - The Legend Continues
The first installment of our Ass Effect comic raised just as many questions as it answered: None. There is absolutely no reason for the story to continue, but the same can also be said about my life so here's the thrilling conclusion to Ass Effect.
Ass Effect
In 2183, Commander John Shepard of the Systems Alliance Military aboard the spacecraft Normandy represents humanity's first and last defense against the strange wonders of a vast and often dangerous galaxy. The fate of humanity and the future of the galaxy will be determined by the decisions of one man with a bad haircut. These are his adventures.
Super Mario Trivia
With the possible exception of Roberto Benigni, Mario is the most popular fictional Italian in the world. To commemorate the release of Super Mario Galaxy and over 26 years of Mario, we've compiled some fascinating little-known facts about the portly plumber and his adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Record Button Records' November Newsletter
You are receiving this newsletter from Record Button Records because someone that knows your e-mail address hates you. No one voluntarily subscribes to these things. You cannot unsubscribe yourself, but you can unsubscribe someone else and hope they return the favor.
When There Is No Room In Hellgate, The Dead Shall Inhabit The Bargain Bin
In Hellgate: London, players are transported into a terrifying world where demons lurk around every corner that they've seen a thousand times before and a multitude of shortcomings are obscured by a heaping helping of shadows.
Street Fighter 4 First Look
Now that Street Fighter 4 has officially been announced, I'm finally able to share the sprite work and inside information that my friend in Capcom's art department has been sending my way for months. I've been dying to share this stuff with you guys, so let's jump right in!
Bummin' Around Town
Join the Appleton Post-Intelligence Gazette's featured columnist Alan Avery as he reviews his fair town's homeless people.
1-000-LAW-NOWW
The law offices of Crosby, Oates & Palmer would like to remind you that if you can reach a phone, you've probably been wronged and should sue immediately.
The Last Minute Of Goofballs 4: Campout On Space Station Terror
Widely regarded as a watershed moment in the 80's teen space campout comedy horror film genre, Goofballs 4: Campout On Space Station Terror became a cult classic despite its limited theatrical release (three screens, one a middle school gymnasium) and the lack of a subsequent home video or dvd.
Endangered Series: Tony Hawk
With ten titles in eight years, the Tony Hawk series has become stale while the refreshingly original Skate has won over a large audience. As an expert on all things stale, I'll offer some ideas that just might save the failing franchise.
Progress
We are blessed to live in such a magical time, and it's only right that we show our appreciation for the hard work of those who came before us by thinking about how far we've come every once in a while. Progress, this update's for you.
What Can I Do To Get You In This Ghost-Infested Closet Today?
I couldn't help but notice you folks eyeing the Ghostbox Deluxe. She's a beaut, isn't she? Clean lines... striking, yet tasteful. You put one of these babies in your house and you'll feel like a movie star without paying nearly as much as you'd expect.
Suicide By Video Game
Examining how someone can play games for so long that they actually die, and how you can do it too!
Third String Quarterback Clipboards
An exclusive look at the third string quarterback's clipboard, which is slightly more important than the third string quarterback himself.
Guides For Games I Haven't Played: Team Fortress 2
Team Fortress 2 is a fantastic mix of style, humor, action, strategy, and teamwork. I am incapable of any of these things. In fact, I haven't even played the game yet. That didn't stop me from writing this strategy guide, and it won't stop you from becoming much better at TF2 by reading it.
Terror 500
An outdated terrorist group who still goes door-to-door and shouts "Boo!" tries its best to catch up with its competitors.
The Censorship Lollipop
While there will always be a few horrible programs to keep food on Aaron Sorkin's table, the content on television is generally more entertaining and compelling than anything available at your local movie theater. There is, however, just one tiny thing that could make TV even better: A fuckton of censorship.
The Daily Gonzo
Ever since Johnny Depp created Gonzo journalism, internet nerds and drugheads everywhere have latched on to the fad. What if these indulgent first-person narratives posing as actual works of journalism were popular with real people, though?
Peter Molyneux And The Fable 2 Stealth Hype Scooter
While Peter Molyneux has been relatively silent over the features in Fable 2, we managed to scrounge up some of his most outrageous quotes that flew under the radar.
What We Know
Science is a fragile thing, always adjusting to new theories and discoveries. There are far fewer incontrovertible facts about the universe we live in than you might think. So what exactly can scientists say with 100% certainty?
Understanding Big Daddy's Popularity
Bioshock's iconic Big Daddy was a favorite of gamers long before the title even had a solid release date. We explain the character's success and use the term "butter valve" for perhaps the first time in history.
Jurassic Park IV: The Gunnening
Jurassic Park IV is about government-trained dinosaurs killing people with guns. If that was the idea they settled on, what sort of screwed up plots didn't get the green light?
Nardo Pace's Collectible Curiousities
Nardo Pace, the Empire's worst engineer (who went on to become the Empire's most unemployed engineer), welcomes you to his store and explains the inner workings of his favorite gadgets.
Tequila Time
Stranglehold is the sequel to John Woo's masterpiece Hard Boiled, in video game form. Will this be a successful follow-up to one of the best action movies of all time? Join me as I take a look at the newly released demo through the eyes of Inspector Tequila.
The Many Wonderful Worlds Of Mass Effect
Mass Effect boasts over 300 planets, bases, satellites, and stranded ships to explore, but how many of those locations are really worth visiting?
The Most Hallowed Records Of All
It's only natural that fans will be saddened when a man as controversial as Barry Bonds breaks the home run record, but that's no reason to stop loving sports. There are plenty of other great records out there to focus on!
Big Doof On Campus
NCAA Football 08's in-depth Campus Legend mode lets you create a high school football player and work your way up to become the best athlete to play the sport at your favorite university. This is my character's journey to becoming a legendary screw up.
True Griefing Tales
Being nice or even mildly unpleasant in online games is for chumps. We've compiled the most badass tales of griefing from some truly hardcore dudes. Learn from their techniques and maybe - just maybe - you will be as respected as them one day.
Intergalactic Scholactic's Introduction To Ancient History
When their historical database gets fried, scholars from the far future attempt to piece together the ancient past using the only thing that survives: random text snippets from a corrupted copy of today's internet.
Things You'll Never Overhear At...
Words that will never be spoken at various game companies and our early pick for Game Of The Year.
The Firing Of Erin Esurance
Secret agent Erin Esurance's spiral into madness, as told by her colleagues. A cautionary tale that explores the razor thin line between enthusiasm for insurance and obsession.
Touch Witchy, Get Dizzy
The problem with witches is that they look like ordinary 13 year olds, which gives Japanese men no choice but to corner and feel up every young girl they come across.
The David Milch School Of Screenwriting
The Deadwood and John From Cincinnati scribe reveals all, teaching young screenwriters a variety of lessons such as the importance of overly complex and unnatural dialog.
How Mahunt 2 Got The 'Adults Only' Rating
Join us as we discover what makes Manhunt 2 more shocking than the original and examine Firaxis' decision to promote their first console-only Civilization game with an overabundance of cleavage and swords.
Comic Corner: The Golden Age Of Superman
Welcome to Comic Corner, a new semi-regular feature devoted to comic books, webcomics, and various soups and stews. In this highly original first installment, we remember Superman's Golden Age adventures in the exact same way we paid homage to Batman, Wolverine, Flash, Hulk, and Captain America in recent weeks.
Live From Apple WWDC 2007
Thank you for tuning into Something Awful's liveblog coverage of the keynote address at Apple's World Wide Developer's Conference 2007. The event begins at 10AM on Monday June 11th, but due to the distances involved in internet communication, our live entries might be delayed by up to five days. Just keep hitting that refresh button!
Shadowrun Patch Notes
How FASA is further balancing the game so that Xbox 360 and PC gamers can battle on a level playing field.
Rough Drafts: Sun Tzu's The Art Of War
The strategies that made their way into the final draft of The Art Of War are still studied and employed today, but the boneheaded tactics that appeared in early revisions are just as fascinating.
Duke Nukem Forever Screenshot Roundup
When 3D Realms attempted to hype Duke Nukem Forever with a postage stamp-sized image of what may or may not be some dude holding a Duke Nukem action figure in a dimly lit office, our vow to never mention the game again went out the window.
Law & Order: SVU - Season 9 Sneak Peek
How much more ridiculous can Law & Order: SVU get? We take a look at selected episodes from the upcoming ninth season of the show to see where the series can possibly go after eight years of dulling and finally breaking Occam's Razor clean in half.
Giving Thanks
It was the best birthday of little Clark's life, but now it's time to pay the ultimate price. It's time to write thank you notes.
Blizzard's Big Announcement
Leaked production notes allowed Video Game Article to get the scoop on Blizzard's next big game, and we're willing to stake our journalistic integrity on the accuracy of this exclusive report.
Rough Drafts: The Hobbit
Every great book starts off as ten stinkers. After reading Tolkien's rough drafts for the first chapter of The Hobbit, you'll come away with a newfound appreciation for the final version.
For Deletion
My new job as the news editor of Planet Transformers, and its devastating impact on global politics.
Kama Sutra Positions For Internet Writers
These revisions to The Illustrated Kama Sutra are solely intended for males who make a living writing humor and video game articles on the internet. These positions contain advanced concepts and techniques that could result in horrific injuries and significant mental anguish for normal men.
Hurtin' The Hulk
Now that the Hulk has departed this world for the great big temper tantrum in the sky, we remember his most incredible comic book adventures.
Pro-Gamer Guide: Lord Of The Rings Online
This first installment of Pro-Gamer Guide shows you how to win Lord Of The Rings Online by cutting out all that "fun" that the kiddies are so preoccupied with.
Internet Guide Presents Tonight's Programming Schedule
Always finding out about stuff that happened on the internet after the fact through icky second-hand links? Make the most of your time online by checking Internet Guide's listings to find out what's happening on the biggest websites and when you need to tune in.
Blowin' Up Batman
Now that Batman has departed this world for the great big batcave in the sky, we remember his most incredible comic book adventures.
The Case For...
Superman 64. Daikatana. E.T. All widely considered horrible games, and for good reason. Today Video Game Article defies the laws of logic (once again) by making the case for each to be considered the greatest game ever made.
Select Passages From The World's Most Renowned Public Toilet Stalls
Bathroom stalls predate mankind by nearly a thousand years, and the practice of writing on them originated ten years before that. Further your cultural knowledge by joining us in examining the greatest pieces of contemporary bathroom stall literature.
Fraggin' The Flash
Now that the Flash has departed this world for the great big sidewalk in the sky, we remember his most incredible comic book adventures.
The Problem With Super Paper Mario
After spending some time with Super Paper Mario, it seems that Nintendo might have gone overboard with the "paper" aspect of the game.
The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire's Worst Engineer
Take a peek into the inbox of Nardo Pace, the Galactic Empire's most prolific and least talented engineer.
Whackin' Wolverine
Now that Wolverine has departed this world for the great big guest appearance in the sky, we remember his most incredible comic book adventures.
The Weirdest Mods Of All Time
Video Game Article scours the internet and my horrible memory to bring you the weirdest and most useless mods of all time.
Misconceptions
There are far too many misconceptions about Randy floating around out there. Is everything we've heard true? Is any of it? The man himself sets the record straight.
Cappin' Captain America
Now that Captain America has departed this world for the great big America in the sky, we remember his most incredible comic book adventures.
S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Features That Didn't Quite Make It
Now that S.T.A.L.K.E.R. is finally coming out, find out what features were cut from the ambitious pc game that was announced nearly six years ago.
A Future Most Sketchy
Theoretical physicist Michi Kaku travels through time with a sketchpad, describing modern technology to historical figures and asking them to draw their interpretations of the gadgets for his twisted amusement.
The Greatest Fights Of All Time
The greatest fights in the history of fighting, which dates back at least 50 years.
Patrick Stewart: Voiceover Artist Extraordinaire
It seems as though every game has Patrick Stewart's voice in it nowadays, but that's not enough for him. Discover the actor's devious (yet British, and therefore sophisticated) plans.
Home Delivery
A doctor talks his wife through a thoroughly disturbing and completely normal childbirth as he rushes home.
The Japanese Version Was Way Better
Startling evidence supports the opinions of that friend of yours who watched and enjoyed the last episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
The Official Rules Of Tournament Poker
The rules of poker are as old as history and twice as important. Join me as I struggle to learn them, it might save your life.
Ad Campaigns Gone Horribly Wrong
The Cartoon Network's bomb scare is only the latest in a long line of disastrously horrible ad ideas.
E-Mails From Grandma
My grandmother simultaneously discovers e-mail and the easiest way to shatter my soul.
Lord Of The Rings Online Beta Patch Notes
A closer look at the latest changes to the Lord Of The Rings Online beta test.
The Toys I Never Had
Corin Tucker's Stalker turns to you for help in locating his favorite childhood toys.
Developers' Dream Games
Some of gaming's biggest names talk about their dream projects.
The High Cost Of Playing
The cost of playing games may not be obvious, but once they are you can see them.
